五人英语搞笑话剧
相声《我的大学生活》台词：
郭：回到北大我很高兴，我也北大的，我是北京大兴的
徐（唱）：明天你是否会想起，昨天你写的日记
郭：来捣乱的了
徐（唱）：明天你是否还惦记，曾经最爱哭的你
郭：小时候挺脆弱
徐（唱）：老师们都已想不起，曾经最爱哭的你
郭：是 爱哭 说了
徐（唱）：我也是偶然翻相片，才想起同桌的你
郭：一块坐着
徐（唱）：谁娶了多愁善感的你
郭：一惊一乍的真受不了
徐（唱）：谁看了你的日记
郭：偷看日记我告他去
徐（唱）：谁把你的长发盘起
郭：这个眼神当不了歌星
徐（唱）：谁给你做的嫁衣
郭：我自个儿买的
徐：大学生活，就这样，远去了
郭：谁都有毕业的一天
徐：你也远去了
郭：我离疯子远点
徐：我多怀念，你的秀发，拂过我胸口的感觉
郭：我扎死你
徐：我多怀念，在无人的校园里，你让我背你那种情义
郭：就你这小体格
徐：我多想对你说一声
郭：说
徐：我爱你
郭：断臂山？
徐：我多想最后一次，吻你
郭：拿个盆来我要吐
徐：你干吗呢？
郭：你太恶心了你
徐：我正在做的事情，是对一段时光的追溯
郭：啊
徐：做一份青春的祭奠
郭：祭奠，这词听着挺坦荡的。都祭奠什么呢？
徐：我的大学生活
郭：上过大学
徐：祭奠我青春无悔的爱情
郭：说话跟念诗似的
徐：我第一次行走在大学的校园里
郭：原来不让进
徐：那是我来报到
郭：哦头一天
徐：我第一次走在大学校园主路上，看着扑面而来的横幅，心情非常激动
郭：哦
徐：激动得有点颤抖
郭：写的是欢迎新生入学？
徐：开展灭鼠运动
郭：那颤抖就对了，这叫大义灭亲
徐：你才耗子呢
郭：这词听着不挨着
徐：就这样我的大学生活开始了
郭：慢慢上吧
徐：在大一的时候，我只有一门心思
郭：干吗
徐：学习
郭：就是上课呗
徐：我这个学习是受我们宿舍老大影响的，
郭：哦，老大很喜欢上学？
徐：苦心学术
郭：好学生还是多的
徐：非常爱学习
郭：那有个好成绩
徐：以至于他的生活中完全都是学术用语
郭：那可了不得了
徐：有一次眼睛不好，上校医院看病：大夫啊，我这个眼睛啊，这个光线投射到物体上面，再反射到我的
瞳仁上面的时候，总是在这个物体的本体旁边产生一个对等的像
郭：挺复杂
徐：而且这个像和这个本体并不是分离的，
郭：好
徐：而是呈现一种交集的现象
郭：嗯嗯嗯
徐：大夫想了半天：你看东西重影是吗？对对对对
郭：我要是这个大夫非打起来不可
徐：大夫的概括能力很强嘛
郭：这叫概括能力，中国人都这么说
徐：我就是受我们宿舍老大的影响
郭：没听出你说话像他呀
徐：我好学习
郭：是是是
徐：我上午学下午学晚上学，吃饭学睡觉学做着梦都学呀
郭：嘿，瞧瞧人家，这成绩不错呀
徐：不怎么样。可惜的是，一到大二，我的兴趣转移了
郭：啊？到大二兴趣转移了，喜欢什么了呢？
徐：那大一就是高四呀，
郭：对对
徐：大二了谁还好好学呀
郭：哦，这你给我讲讲，我也没上过学不老清楚的
徐：我喜欢体育
郭：嘿，有一好身体
徐：这是受到我们宿舍老二的影响
郭：老大他兄弟
徐：嗯！
郭：哥俩能跑到一块儿不易
徐：他是北京人，
郭：哦
徐：北京人，就住那个平安大道
郭：我知道
徐：北京四中知道吗？
郭：我知道
徐：北京四中操场对面
郭：我在那个门口买过冰棍儿吃
徐：就住那
郭：好
徐：每个周末他都回去看球去
郭：嗯
徐：他球迷，我们一屋子都是球迷，
郭：是啊
徐：可是我们宿舍里没有电视呀
郭：呵！这宿舍日子苦点
徐：他一回来跟我们讲球，馋得我们呀，难受啊
郭：就是
徐：那天我一回去，看他正坐在宿舍，大马金刀往那一坐
郭：怎么着
徐：正侃呢：哎哟那中卫太好了，左脚一扣右脚一带啪一转身，连过俩前锋啊！
郭：你瞧
徐：唰一脚传给中场
郭：嗯嗯嗯
徐：我一听，这是什么球？意甲？
郭：不会
徐：英超？
郭：未必
徐：昨儿没球啊
郭：就说啊
徐：赶紧听听吧。
郭：听人说呗
徐：还在那侃呢：嚯，中场这人也强啊，一个斜传直插，边前卫拍马杀到，啪一趟，越过了底线。
郭：嗯！
徐：直接发角球，这角球发得又高又飘，前锋赶到，当一脑袋
郭：球就进了吧
徐：没有
郭：怎么呢
徐：让守门员给封出去了
郭：你瞧瞧
徐：封出去了没关系呀，没封多远
郭：嗯嗯
徐：还落咱们前锋脚底下，人家左脚一扣右脚当就是一脚，世界波呀
郭：我的天，您等会儿您等会儿您等会儿，世界波？
徐：世界波呀
郭：哦，您给解释一下这个
徐：就是世界上的人都踢不了这么好看的弧线，呵！
郭：哎呀这么大的能耐
徐：世界波呀，当就是一脚，打门柱上了
郭：怎么弄啊这个？接着再来
徐：又到他脚下
郭：嗯有的是工夫
徐：左盘右带，盘过守门员啊
郭：嗯
徐：空门啊！
郭：嗯，您瞧瞧
徐：抬脚就进了
郭：使这么大的劲
徐：可惜他没射呀
郭：怎么呢
徐：唉，一打上课铃啊，他们就不玩了
郭：哎呀，初中生踢球啊
徐：反正我是很受他的影响
郭：您这一脑门子汗看着够卖力气的
徐：我是上午踢下午踢晚上还踢，
郭：那落一好身体呗
徐：没有，到大三我的兴趣又转移了
郭：嚯，又转了，这回喜欢什么了？
徐：大三啊，我的情窦初开
郭：我知道，开始喜欢男的了
徐：像话吗？啊？开始喜欢男的像话吗
郭：都大三了才情窦初开，你要说想换换口儿我倒相信
徐：那我以前，我也曾经喜欢过女的
郭：后来喜欢男的了
徐：不是，我原来喜欢女的
郭：现在喜欢男的
徐：你别绕得我行不行？我原来喜欢女的，但是没有追求过
郭：嗯嗯嗯
徐：到大三，我敢于追求女同学啦
郭：这是多大的事啊
徐：受我们宿舍老三的影响
郭：哦 老二他兄弟
徐：怎么全是兄弟？
郭：老大老二老三，哥儿仨一块儿考进来不易
徐：我们是一个宿舍
郭：哦，论着这么来的
徐：都是干兄弟
郭：嗬你瞧瞧，一点水都没有
徐：情圣啊
郭：情愿剩下的，不老露脸的
徐：谈恋爱，情圣，那年他二十一，他都让二十八个女的甩了
郭：这比我强，我那年搞了十个黄了二十多个
徐：他有很多经验啊
郭：向人家学学
徐：就是啊。我爱上了一个中文系的女生
郭：多大岁数
徐：非常美丽
郭：漂亮
徐：二十多岁
郭：你看看
徐：可是我就是啊，不敢跟她说话
郭：你得壮起胆来
徐：当时我们三哥教给我了
郭：怎么说的
徐：这个东西你没我有经验
郭：哎，跟人家学学
徐：跟女生你得搭讪，懂吗？搭讪！
郭：对，翻译成中国话这叫勾搭
徐：反正就这意思吧
郭：嗯
徐：你不认识你怎么问人家呀
郭：找话
徐：跟我学呀
郭：跟他学吧
徐：她走前面你走后面呀
郭：诶
徐：你看没人的时候
郭：嗯
徐：你找点东西，你就身上没东西，你随便从地上捡点东西，过去问她：同学这是你掉的吗？
郭：这是个办法啊
徐：不就认识了吗？
郭：好主意
徐：好主意呀
郭：嗯
徐：我在三教旁边遇见了她
郭：开始了
徐：她在前边走
郭：嗯
徐：我在后边跟着
郭：那是
徐：我对自己说：平静一下
郭：冷静
徐：勇气，拿出勇气来！
郭：多拿点出来
徐：要拿出勇气来呀！我一拍她肩膀：同学，这块砖头是你掉的吗？
郭：也别说，地上也没有别的可捡！
徐：她把砖头抢过去这顿拍我呀
郭：对，这学生后来出家叫鲁智深，她还打过一个叫镇关西的同学
徐：没听说过，现在这女生都这样，彪悍，野蛮女友嘛
郭：哦，挺好，这法儿挺灵啊
徐：是挺灵啊，虽然这次没成功，但是自那以后，满校园都是我和女生搭讪的身影
郭：您给介绍一下这勾搭的场景
徐：同学，这把铁锹是你掉的吗？
郭：这是铁锹系本科生，对，往死里拍他
徐：同学，这张桌子是你掉的吗？
郭：口袋太小装不下，对，呼死他
徐：同学，这个隔离墩是你掉的吗？
郭：你没膀子力气拿的起来吗？对，直接写上碑就行了
徐：我不气馁！
郭：对，你都死了！你上工地儿里搞对象去吧！隔离墩同学，这个楼是你掉的吗？嗯？
徐：我被她们很多人打过
郭：谁不打谁遗憾啊
徐：但是我不气馁
郭：这叫没羞没躁！
徐：上次，我在化学实验室又看上一个美女。
郭：他在化学实验室他也不闲着
徐：她在前边，我顺手拿起一个桌上的试管：同学！
郭：说话
徐：没事儿
郭：怎么呢？
徐：王水
郭：嚯！下次别在她后头，你上她前头去，搞对象不成只当溜狗了
徐：没有什么下次了，下次就是这样了
郭：哪样啊
徐：同学～～
郭：那是硫酸泼脸上啦～～
徐：这把纸钱儿是你掉的吗～～～
郭：我说闹鬼吧！！王水太厉害了，据说连黄金都能弄化了
徐：一直到大四
郭：大四了
徐：我还是唱着我的单身情歌，行走在没有爱情的校园里，并且固执得认为自己是一个宝贝
郭：怎么能是宝贝呢？
徐：大四还是处男呢不是宝贝？
郭：对对对，这比找一恐龙可难多了
徐：大四马上就要过去了
郭：快毕业了
徐：学分该修的也差不多了
郭：那是
徐：工作大家都没什么着落
郭：哟
徐：压力很大
郭：也着急
徐：还有一两科没过
郭：不算多
徐：大家也不去上课了，有很多自己的事情了。老师不干了
郭：怎么呢
徐：点名啊下次！
郭：对
徐：那天早晨，我睡得迷迷糊糊的，有人把我扒拉醒了：哎哎起来起来，哥们，今儿我得面试去，点名帮
我答应一声
郭：怎么还得面试去呀
徐：找工作呀
郭：哦
徐：压力很大
郭：就是
徐：哎哎哥们哥们，我那班儿我昨儿刚上的今儿我不能请假
郭：对
徐：你帮我答应一下
郭：这个你也得替他
徐：哎哥们哥们，我上班儿去啊不能请假，帮我答应一下啊
郭：对，这宿舍除了你都有事干
徐：德亮啊，其实在本体论形而上学上说
郭：这人我知道，刚说过一遍了
徐：我是想去上课的
郭：可以理解
徐：但是昨天，在十二个或者十三个小时之前
郭：多精确
徐：啊，就是我进食的时候
郭：吃饭的时候
徐：就是我用水和蛋白质补充养料的时候
郭：说得太细致了
徐：有一股气体顺着口腔一直到了腹腔
郭：别在外边吃饭
徐：以至于今天晚上，我我我我我，我的小腹偏下部，有着一阵一阵的，类似阵痛一样的感觉，今天早上起来，这种感觉越来越明显，越来…………拉去！
郭：太好了，你总结得相当准确。听他说话有点恶心
徐：我昨天晚上也很晚没睡
郭：你也拉去？
徐：写简历呢
郭：写简历？
徐：找工作啊
郭：压力很大
徐：对，我睡得迷迷糊糊的，我说行行行，我帮你们答
郭：替他们去应名去
徐：来到教室里，往这一坐，上眼皮开始打下眼皮
郭：一宿没睡呀
徐：闭着眼睛，晕晕乎乎的就听老师点名：徐德亮！
郭：叫他
徐：到！
郭：得答应啊
徐：张三！到～李四！到～～
郭：呀
徐：王五！到～～～
郭：这宫里来人了这是。等会儿吧，怎么还声音忽高忽低呀
徐：怕老师听出来呀
郭：模仿别人的声音
徐：那当然了
郭：真是个天才呀
徐：老师说：徐德亮！
郭：诶
徐：到～你干吗呢？！没干吗呀。
郭：就是啊
徐：你睁眼看看！我一睁眼，哟，今儿班里就来俩人儿
郭：你要学出仨人的声音都算失败
徐：一转眼，七月了
郭：七月，快毕业了
徐：同学们就要各奔前程了
郭：哪来的回哪去
徐：兄弟们就要分开了。唉，（唱）朋友一生一起走
郭：又唱上了
徐（唱）：那些日子不再有，一句话，一辈子，一生情一杯酒。老大去了广州，老二去了美国，老三去了上海，老四去了浙江
郭：哪儿的都有
徐：老五去了黑龙江。我说同学们兄弟们，没关系！以后回学校的时候找我来！
郭：留校了？人家都走了，你没及格呀？没毕业
徐：什么叫没毕业？
郭：你留下来的呀
徐：他们愣说我那英语，没毕业，没过
郭：哦，英语，这个挺难为人
徐：一级没过
郭：嗯，这稍微难点
徐：我又不是钳工我考级干吗呀
郭：对，我同情你，我当初考曲艺团也因为英语没进去
徐：后来他们挺后悔的……
郭：说你的别废话！忘了？这是在北大不要瞎说，我都搂着何况你乎
郭：毕业了人都走了把你留下了
徐：幸好啊，还有考试，
郭：还有考试？
徐：还有补考！
郭：嗬你瞧瞧
徐：补考我也过不了啊
郭：不能！
徐：过不了啊
郭：为什么呀
徐：我找工作呀
郭：还得忙着上班去
徐：哪有心思学习呀
郭：就顾着说相声了
徐：没关系没关系！我有办法
郭：有什么办法？
徐：在考试这天，我早晨四点钟潜入教室！
郭：你打算偷什么去啊
徐：偷什么干吗？我按着我准考证，看好了那张桌子，密密麻麻在桌子上刻字儿啊
郭：得亏你有这手艺呀，毕不了业出去刻戳子也能赚钱
徐：蝇头小楷！
郭：你那眼神你看得见吗？
徐：都是英文啊
郭：我的天哪
徐：密密麻麻所有需用的句型单词，密密麻麻一桌子，嗬！乍一看那桌子，铺一黑被单儿
郭：好么，墨水使得忒多
徐：往那一坐我一想这回我及格了
郭：了不得了
徐：我能毕业了
郭：就是啊
徐：八点钟忽拉忽拉忽拉同学们都进来了，我一瞧，怎么谁都不认识？
郭：你眼睛花了？
徐：正常，补考啊，哪个系的都有啊
郭：对，保不齐有别的
徐：嗯？老师也不认识。他们走过我桌子的时候，都用非常钦佩的眼神看着我
郭：这帮也没见过什么。瞧瞧你
徐：心说，嘿嘿，下手晚了吧
郭：别咧嘴
徐：你不及格活该！
郭：打死你都不多
徐：有这我及格了！
郭：倒霉模样
徐：老师发下卷子来我一看
郭：怎么样？
徐：考日语！我说老师不对，不对老师！你看我准考证呀，206,这是不206？
郭：206啊
徐：考英语您怎么发日语？您进错屋了吧，你们都进错屋了吧
郭：都错了
徐：你们都进错屋了吧！
郭：哎
徐：老师说你拿来我看看，同学，你的准考证是三教206,这是一教206。这可怎么办呀，现在去考试去，我准考不过呀。我现在不去考试去，我毕不了业呀。
郭：你出去刻戳子去呀
徐：要不我跟这考日语？
郭：你未必会！
徐：也没有用啊！
郭：可说是呢
徐：这可怎么办呀
郭：怎么办呢
徐：这样！
郭：嗯！
徐：明知山有虎
郭：好！
徐：偏向虎山行！
郭：不错！
徐：考试有险阻，心中有红日！
郭：这唐诗！
徐：脚下如东风！没关系不就是考英语吗，三教206,我来了！
郭：这就对了！
徐：我扛着桌子去的！
郭：缺心眼吧！
英语短剧剧本1
Three Times’ Beating Monster
人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧
B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆
B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒
T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?
S: Bajie,map!
E: (摸出，递给S)
S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）
T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!
E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)
T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west
E: But……
T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?
E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.
S: Fat Pig!
E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….
S: You will what(凶相)?
E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).
S: Hm!
T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?
E: You see ,master is hungry,too!
T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!
J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..
T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?
S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）
E: This is…..?
S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!
T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!
S: Bye!(走)
T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》
B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)
B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?
T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.
B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!
T: Bomb?(打出)
B1: Double King!
T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)
B1: （倒)Ah……
T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!
S: She is a monster!
T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)
S: Oh,please don’t……
T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)
S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)
T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!
B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)
B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?
T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)
S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)
E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)
J: Look,(伸食指)how many?
T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)
B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)
S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)
T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!
S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!
T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!
S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》
E: Master, brother Monkey is.......
T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!
B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)
T: （惊）You are......
B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)
B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......
S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.
T: Wukong?
E: Oh,Brother Monkey!
J: Our hero is back!
T: I,I can't understand......What happened?
S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!
T: How,how did you find out?
S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)
N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?
S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.
N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)
T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)
S: What?
T: I'm sorry.
S: Em? Louder,please?
T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）
T: Let's go guys!( 歌)
S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.
E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.
J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.
T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.
T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.
T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet......
(谢幕)
3. 求五人搞笑英语话剧剧本
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑
5
人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
打更的太监
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战乡村陌路
旁白：
A
quiet village is covered with white snow.
Birds are dancing in the cold.
A
man is walking along the street, step by step.
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches.
打更的太监：
The weather is dry and things are flammable, take care not catch the fire! I
’
m
打酱
油的！
Y
与
X
相遇．
X
：
Ohm, I’m
sorry to knock you!
Y:
Ha-ha, Never mind baby.
X:
Excuse me, Could you tell me your name?
Y:
ha
ha,
I
won’t
change
my
name!
No
matter
what
happens.
I’m
the
most
famous
——
-Y
eGucheng
（登登登登！
！
！
）
. Who are you?
X:
I’m
ximenchuixue.
Y(
惊讶
): Ar, ximenchuixue?
X:
Y
es, what is wrong?
Y:
I heard that you are the best Martial Arts?
X:
Great, you know me!
Y(
抱腿
)
：
Please, please
……
Don
’
t kill me! Let me go!
X:
No, I must kill you!
Y:
I
don’t
want to be killed. Let me go!
X:
No way! Y
ou know?
Y(
突然站起冷冷的说
)
：
Don
’
t force me!
X:
Pardon!
(Y
拿出一袋牛奶
)
X(
抢过牛奶
):Milk, very good! I like drinking it.
Y:
Please drink it!
X(
喝完牛奶
):Thanks, ha-ha
Y:
Do you still want to kill me?
X:
Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(
恼怒
+
冷酷
):V
ery good! V
ery good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:
I’m
sure I
won’t!
Y:
I must give you a lesson! If I
don’t
beat you this time, I
’ll
never be having properly! 3-2-1-0
</b></b>X(
捂着肚子，蹲下
)
：
Ouch, Ouch!
Y(
大笑
)
：
Ha Ha
……
X(
可怜状
): Help! Help! Where is the washroom?
Y: What?
X: Toliet?
Y: What?
X: The
“WC”?
Y: Oh, I see, go along this street and turn right when you see a crossing road!
X: Thanks, bye-bye.
Y(
掏出纸屑吹
):This is genuine snow!
H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!
Y: Who are you?
H: Hua
—
man
—
-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in
“WC” now,
ha……
H(
惊讶
):Now you are the best in the world!
Y: Y
ou are right!
H: Teriffic! Y
ou are the one I
’
m looking for! Do you want to join in me?
Y: Yes,
It’s
very good.
H: Ok, follow me;
let’s
go!
Y: Ok,
Let’s go!
(To be continued
…
)
4. 英语短话剧剧本5人 搞笑点的.
话剧《荆轲刺秦王》
旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!这句话要跟观众交流,最好由观众来回答,然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荆轲
Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊.”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero,we need your help.
荆柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荆柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China.
荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t rece my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?难道你真的想要吗……
（《No matter》音乐起,荆轲先与阿三跳探戈,拥入怀中,又甩出去,阿三做呕吐状.然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴,最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型,向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿,荆轲做调戏状.）
荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹与阿三（撞胯,击掌）Yeah!
Action Ш
（《大话西游》主题曲响起）
荆珂挽着妻子,太子丹,阿三在后.
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
（太子丹,阿三下.停顿.《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起,荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型,忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过,向荆轲抛媚眼,并抛下定情手绢.荆轲高兴的盯着美女看,妻子发觉不对,扭过头来.）
荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）
荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你,选自《飘》)
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荆珂（欲走还留,执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时,Jack对Rose的倾诉）.
妻子:"I promise."
荆轲:"Never let go. “
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荆轲的发音和jack很像,所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词.）
妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪,
荆珂上船,渐渐远去
妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手机拨号,阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
阿三：Okay okay!
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
5. 谁有5人搞笑英语短剧剧本
你去找度娘
6. 急求5人英语搞笑话剧
英语幽默短剧剧本The
Pocket
Money
Scene1(At
Salesman’s
home)
N:
In
a
dark
dirty
house,
there
lived
a
small,
dirty
salesman.
He
always
makes
unhealthy
candies
and
sells
them
to
the
students.
He
has
a
lot
of
money
now.
But
how
does
he
make
the
candies?
Oh,
xu
……
He
is
coming!
S:
Hello,
do
you
know
me?
No?
Oh,
let
me
tell
you
.I’m
the
famous
candy
salesman
at
the
school
gate.
My
candies
are
very
popular,(展示)I
don’t
know
why.
The
foolish
students
always
come
here.
I’ll
be
a
boss
soon!
Candy,
money,
candy,
money……
Oops!
It’s
time
to
make
candies
now.(看表)
First,
put
the
flour
on
the
table.
Then,
water,
sugar,
flour.(边说边做)
Now
press,
press……
Oh,
my
dirty
hands!
Never
mind!
Just
do
it!(满意神情)
Press,
press……
Oh,
my
god!Never
mind!
Just
do
it!
Press,
press,
the
children
will
not
know
it
,
it’s
OK,hehehe……
Now
let
me
cut
it
into
pieces!
另
白雪公主与七矮
Snow
White
and
the
Seven
Dwarfs
英文短剧本
旁白:Once
upon
a
time,
there
was
a
queen.
She
had
a
pretty
daughter
named
Snow
White.
Soon
after
the
child
was
born,
the
queen
died.
The
queen
married
another
queen.
The
stepmother
was
very
jealous.
She
dressed
Snow
White
in
rags
and
forced
her
to
do
the
housework
all
day
and
all
night,
such
as
sweep
and
mop
the
floor,
do
some
cleaning,
carry
water
and
so
on.
白雪:(
Sweep
and
mop
the
floor,
do
some
cleaning,
carry
water
and
so
on.)
皇:I’m
the
new
queen.
I’m
very
beautiful.
you
see.
If
anyone
is
more
beautiful
than
me,
I’ll
kill
her.
I
have
a
magic
mirror.
If
I
want
to
know
something,
It
will
tell
me
surely.Now,
mirror,
mirror,
come
here!
魔镜:Yes,
I’m
coming.
Your
Majesty!
What
do
you
want
to
know?
皇:Mirror,
mirror,
on
the
wall.Who
is
the
fairest
of
the
all?
魔镜:Yes.
Your
Majesty!
You
are
the
fairest
of
all,
I
think.But
there
is
a
young
lady.
She
is
as
white
as
snow,
as
red
as
rose
and
as
black
as
ebony.She
is
much
more
beautiful
than
you.
皇:She
is
much
more
beautiful
than
me?Who
is
she?
Tell
me
quickly.
看看哪合适,做些修改
7. 5人英语小品剧本
应该可以吧！我们以前用过，还蛮搞笑的！
8. 求五人英语搞笑话剧
《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧） 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy wifeisWuSong. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou! (内砸出一脸盆,Ｊ接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom? -hood.Sheisbraverthanme, .AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender thanme.Butsheisnot!! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):Ican! (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum? JM:I’“mymostbeautifulgracefuland dearestmother-in-law”. L:OK.-in-law,what’sup? JM:.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Neverinterruptme! L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing. and…… JM:! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下) Act2 (LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L:Mum,I’mback! LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened? L:–in-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon marryingthatterribleJohnny,,butyoudidnotlisten tome.Lookatyourself…… L:But,mum…… LM:Neverinterruptme! L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.?And I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto. LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo andtellhim.(下) L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下) Act3 (J睡眼惺忪上) J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty! (突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now shehasgone.. JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet? J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone! JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice girl,goandtakeherback! J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam! Act4 (J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous! Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚) AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney! J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出１角硬币):Is1maoenough? (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken! B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight! C:Iheardthatthemayor’.WEcangoand robthewedding! A&B:Goodidea! J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible! AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple! J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet! (突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo withyou.. B:Haveyougotanyexperience? J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄１，０００，０００) Act5 (转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中) ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous! A:Theroadisbuiltbyme! B:AndIplantedonetree. C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet--- J:Giveusallyourmoney! (L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头) L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后) (MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒) J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去） (J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS) (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou? L(哭状):Ihurtalot! J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下) L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下) (音乐起 CanYouCelebrate) ---【七夜、家==枯草】
9. 搞笑英语话剧剧本五人 五分钟
需要13人，演员，班长，老师，篮球3人情侣两人，聪明，旁白，同学ABCD，举牌礼仪人员 逃课奇侠传 第一幕 舞台效果：无灯光 背景音乐：暴风雪的自然音 旁白：（低沉，神秘的语气）在繁华的都市中，在现代化的大学里，走有这样一群学生，每 当上课的铃声响起，他们就会安静的在教室中消失，他们不是别人，他们正是逃课奇侠们！那是2007年3月傍晚的一堂英语课…… 在这个过程中工作人员需要完成道具摆设,六把椅子分两排摆,一张桌子与椅子对摆,侧对台下,音乐声停,舞台上灯亮起,同学ABCD先后持书上台坐下,上课的音乐响起老师持书上台,将书放到桌子上抬头 老师:”大家晚上…..好(停顿一下仍然微笑),谁能告诉我其他同学在哪里?” 同学A:1头疼,让我帮他请假 同学B:2胃疼,说明天会带假条来 同学C:3拉肚子,4发烧了正在打针 同学D:5…5…他…他(四处张望很紧张) 老师:同学D,你想说5哪里疼啊? 同学D:他…他..他脚丫子喘不上来气,浑身头疼! 全班同学笑,老师微笑转身,拿出早准备好的兔子,握拳打,念念有词:”太过分了,怎么可以这样,难道我不够好吗,我可是一位善良仁慈有责任心的人民好教师!”说完转身微笑 老师:好吧,谁可以告诉我班长在哪里.”无人回答 老师:OK,那学习委员呢?仍然无人回答 老师终于崩溃了,摔书,WHO CAN TELL ME WHY!然后快步走下台,台上一阵安静,同学互视下台,关灯,道具搬下 第二幕 旁白:那么逃课奇侠们都在哪里呢?湖边,球场,书店,他们除了课室,无处不在…… 工作人员举道具牌内容为篮球场上演员上场,,灯光突然亮起,配乐NEVER SAY GOODBYE 三名演员,说唱,跳篮球街舞 you know the happiness so me the sharpneet hi set lift and things nouly maifgain use lose trouch within try alan oufild do goods soutpin alan word maidsen called some maidsen we talk aboat tell leason make the ma er lun plast sgat stop ham same rave as works gets 唱完后下台 旁白:那么在幽静的湖边呢?花样年华配乐响起,灯光变的柔和,男女演员分别从舞台两边上,男唱:上课不如逃课 女唱:逃课不如拍托 合:那我们又何乐不为呢 男:时间是宝贵的 女:浪漫是重要的 合:青春为什么不留一点洒脱 这个过程中加动作,交际舞音乐声音停,舞台上摆两个椅子两人坐下 女:哦,亲爱的,今晚的月亮真圆啊! 男沉默 女:难道你不想对我说些什么吗 男望月:是啊,今晚的月亮真圆啊 音乐项起,二人一起下台 旁白:还有去往图书馆的路上…… 聪明人着好学生装,手持道具书伴分开旅行前奏上场,做耍帅动作 说:莎士比亚说,最好的好人都是犯过错误的过来人,一个往往因为有一点萧萧的缺点更显出他的可爱,所以,喜欢逃课的聪明的我,其实,很可爱!(乌鸦叫加道具汗)说完下台 第三幕 旁白:,教室内坐满了学生,为什么今天逃课奇侠们都在呢,因为今天是英语小测验成绩出来的日子,教室显的异常的安静,班长失落的拿着成绩表走进了空气紧张的教室 班长:同学们,这是我们班英语小测验的结果,差,很差,非常差,这样的水平,怎么去参加即将来临的英语四级考试,怎样面对我们将来的就业,我们不能在这样下去了! 同学表示赞同,聪明耍帅:上课对我来说没有任何意义,莎士比亚说… 还不等他说完,班长气愤的打断他:聪明,大家都知道你很聪明,但是分开旅行前奏响起,莎士比亚说聪明人变成了痴愚,是一条最容易上钩的游鱼,因为他凭恃才高学广,看不见自己的狂妄,聪明,山外有山,人外有人.
10. 英语话剧 五个人演的 最好搞笑
1 大臣（1）: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the prince-dancing ball. This night, our worshipful Prince Edward（这时，王子走了出来，向所有来宾鞠躬）will select the most beautiful and kindest girl to be his queen .Now, young girls, come to the front, please! （女孩子们走上前） 大臣（2）：（将头转向王子）Highness，how are they? Which one do you like? 王子: （皱起眉头）Mmm…I don’t think they are… (Cinderella suddenly comes in) 大臣们: （惊叹）Wow! How beautiful THAT girl is! （众来宾惊恐地回过头） 旁白：She's like a fairy. She's like an Angel. She's so lovely. She's like a princess. How pretty Cinderella is! 王子:(走上前，鞠躬) Pretty lady, may I be honored to dance with you? 灰姑娘: I'd love to.（握住王子的手，开始跳舞） (Music and dance) 旁白:Beautiful Cinderella and handsome Prince Edward are dancing. They fall in love. (12点的钟声猛然敲响了,敲了6下) 灰姑娘: Oh, it's time to go back. I must go now. I am sorry that I cannot dance with you any more, sir! 王子: Wait, miss, please wait! （追上去） 灰姑娘：(急忙地跑，掉了一只鞋)Good bye, sir! 王子: (拿起鞋)Pretty lady! Why are you leaving? I must find you!! Soldiers!！ 士兵们: Yes!! 王子: Take this shoe to every house and let all the young girls have a try tomorrow morning. You must find the girl for me. FAST! 士兵们: Yes, highness! 第四场布景：灰姑娘家的花园中 灰姑娘:（失去了魔法的帮助，变回了原样）Oh…He was gentle, he was handsome, oh! I cannot forget him… I love him! But I hadn’t found Prince Edward and danced with him yet… 鸽子: Cinderella, don’t you know? The man who danced with you was PRINCE EDWARD!! （猫和变回原样的狗点头附和） 灰姑娘:REALLY?? My goodness!! （捂住嘴巴，不敢相信的样子） Oops, I am sorry…I haven’t done the housework! Mum, Helen and Jenny will back soon! They will be angry! See you soon, buddies! （哼着小曲跳走了） 第五场布景：灰姑娘家 （士兵敲门） 士兵（3）:Good morning, madam. 后妈: Good morning. What’s the matter, sir? 士兵: Are there any young girls in this house, madam? 士兵（2）: The pretty lady lost her shoe in the palace. 士兵（3）: The prince wanted to find her and marry her. 后妈:（笑着说）Of course, sir, wait a minute!（往身后招招手，让女儿（1）过来） 后妈女儿（1）: （急急忙忙跑上前）Let me try. The shoe is mine.（说着把脚伸进鞋子） 士兵: No, It's not yours. It's too small for you.（把鞋子拿开） 后妈女儿（2）: （跳着大喊）It's mine. I AM the queen. Let me try it.（说着把脚伸进鞋子） 士兵（2）: No, it's not yours; it's too big for you.（再次把鞋子拿开） 后妈: Hey, sir, maybe it's mine. Let me have a try. （急忙想要去穿鞋子） 士兵（3）:（马上把鞋子拿走）Oh, please, it couldn't be YOURS. Are there any other girls in this house? 灰姑娘: Good morning, gentlemen, may I try it? （款款走来） 后妈 :You? That’s impossible! （大喊着，做出“快滚”的手势） 后妈女儿（1）: Look at yourself, PLEASE! （讥笑） 后妈女儿（2）: So dirty and so ugly! Please not to waste the solders’ time! （讽刺） 士兵: Oh, ladies, let her try! Prince Edward said that all the young girls should have a try. Here, young girl, try it on, please! （送上鞋） 灰姑娘:（轻轻把脚伸进去）Thank you! (试鞋,正好合适) 后妈和两个女儿：It couldn’t be Cinderella! It couldn’t be!! Maybe there’s something wrong, sir! （疯了一样大叫） 2 白:Long ago, there lived a girl. Her mather had died and her father had married again,His new wife had two daugters. They are so bad as their mother. The poor girl had to work day and night. She must sleep in the kitchen. She weared drity clothes. All of them called her cinders for Cinderella. However, we’ll show you a different play today. (灰姑娘昂首挺胸帅气十足地上场) 旁白：She is so strong, and smart. Especially she is good at sport. Now, she is running for the 100 meter race.(灰姑娘冲刺,旁边老师读秒:11’9) Now, she is playing basketball.(灰姑娘以一敌众,轻松灌篮) Now,she is practicing Chinese gongfu(灰姑娘打拳,对手倒) This is her----Cinderella 灰姑娘(怒,看旁白) :Do you finish? 旁白:Ok(结巴)continue, even she is perfect, she still can’t escape the poor life, Why? That is----- 继母(假装洗衣服) :How cold the water! I’m too old to do anything, My leg is so painful. (灰姑娘默,从继母手中拿过洗衣盆) (一姐将盆碗碰得乱响.灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过盆碗) (一姐手持针线缝衣,刺手,尖叫—灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过衣服) 第一幕 (灰姑娘在帮后母按摩肩膀) 二姐(奔入,扬动手中传单) :Mom, Mom, Look! There are some leaflets. I got them on the street. The King is having a party. The Prince will look for a wife. 一姐(托腮) :I must be choosen, I am the most beautiful girl in the world. 二姐(凭空跳舞) :No, Not you. I have the charming shape, I am the Queen. (两姐争吵起来,继母从女儿手中拿过传单,亲吻) 继母:Oh, baby. Stop. You two are the most beautiful girls in our country. He will probably choose one of you. Come on , make up yourself. We haven’t enough time!(瞪灰姑娘)Cinderella, what are you doing? Come here, help your sisters! 灰姑娘 :OK, I will. But, mom, can I go to the party tonight? I want to ------ (三人敛神) 一姐:Oh, my God! I forgot Tim’s homework. He gave us a lot of homework.. I can’t finish, what should I do ? 二姐(拿书,指,附和) :Oh, Yes, Yes. Look, execise A, excise B, excise C, excise D, excise E, Oh, planning tree, essay, study plan------(偷瞄灰姑娘,哭)Oh, my God! Oh 3 小狮子找食物 （I Am Hungry） 角色：雄狮、小狮、小白兔、小松鼠、小女孩。 道具：雄狮、小狮、小白兔、小松鼠头套、红萝卜、花生一把、苹果一个。 Act 1 雄狮：（怒吼）Roar, roar! I am the lion, the king of the forest. No one is stronger than me. Roar, roar! 小狮：Daddy! I’m hungry. 雄狮：You are big now. Be brave! Go and find your own food. 小狮：But, I don’t know how. 雄狮：Do it like me. Roar, roar! （怒吼） 小狮：（小声地）Roar, roar! 雄狮：Rush to the animals and bite them with your sharp teeth.（ 露出尖利的牙齿） Go and do it now. 小狮：Yes, daddy. Act 2 小白兔：（唱”Rabbit, R 693535747 19:39:38 abbit, Carrot Eater”） Rabbit, rabbit, carrot eater. He says there is nothing sweeter, Than a carrot everyday, Munch and crunch and run away. 小狮：Hi, rabbit! I am hungry. Roar, roar!（小声地） 小白兔：Do you want some carrots? 小狮：Yes, please. （小白兔递给小狮一根红萝卜） 小狮：Thank you. 小白兔：Carrots are the best food. 小狮：（吃了一口）Yuck! I don’t like it. Anyway, thank you, rabbit. （还红萝卜给小白兔） 小白兔：You are welcome. （边跳边唱”Rabbit, Rabbit, Carrot Eater” 离开） Act 3 小松鼠：（唱着”Found a Peanut”） Found a peanut. Found a peanut. Found a peanut 693535747 19:39:38 just now. Just now I found a peanut. Found a peanut just now. 小狮：Hi, squirrel! I am hungry. Roar, roar! （小声地） 小松鼠：Do you want some peanuts? 小狮：Yes, please. （小松鼠递给小狮一些花生） 小狮：Thank you. 小松鼠：Peanut is the best food. 小狮：（吃了一颗）Yuck! It’s too hard. I don’t like it. Anyway, thank you, squirrel. （将花生还给小松鼠） 小松鼠：You are welcome. （边走边唱”Found a Peanut”离开） Act 4 （小女孩边走边唱”Apple Round”） 小女孩：Apple round. Apple red. Apple juicy. Apple sweet. 4 Global warming A． Class begins, good afternoon everyone. B． C. D ：Good afternoon, teacher. A. First, I will ask you a question: What is the serious problem nowadays ? B. I think it’s the problem of environment pollution. A. It’s related to our correct answer. But it isn’t correct one. B. Is it the problem of population increasing? A. No. C. Oh. I got it. It’s global warming. A. Right! Global warming is one of the serious problems nowadays. Because…… B. Teacher. I have a question. It was very cold indeed this winter. I think it’s global cooling! A. You got the wrong concept. Global warming doesn’t only mean that the weather is getting hot, but also mean that the weather is out of control. So it will be sometimes very cold. B. Teacher. What causes “ global warming”? C. I know. Now people drive too many cars and the exhaust gases discharged by the cars and lorries pollute the air and also destroy the nature. It causes global warming. A. You are right. Do you know what will happen with the global warming? B. Yes. The ices in South Pole are going to be melted and at the time, many islands will be graally flooded with water. Human will have no places to live. C. Surely, we don’t want that will happen. A. What sould we do to stop “Global warming”? B. I think we can protect the environment from ourselves. We can plant trees C. When we are protecting the environment, we are saving ourselves. A. Ok. Students, we can’t only speak but not do later . Let us go planting trees. D. Oh, teacher! Tomorrow is March the twelfth, it’s tree-planting day! A. Yes! Now all of you know the importance of protecting the environment. B．C．D．Let us do our best to stop “Global warming” and make our earth a lovely homeland! A. That is good . I hope you all will be succeeded in protecting the environment. Now the class is over bye-bye students! B.C.D. good bye. Teacher.