荆轲刺秦王英语短剧剧本
旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister? 织梦内容管理系统
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I aming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensivemodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲 dedecms.com
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荆轲
Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 本文来自织梦
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero，we need your help.
荆柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荆柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. 织梦内容管理系统
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China.
荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t rece my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……
（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）
荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!
Action Ш 织梦好，好织梦
（《大话西游》主题曲响起）
荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）
荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）
荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）. 织梦好，好织梦
妻子:"I promise."
荆轲:"Never let go. “
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）
妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，
荆珂上船，渐渐远去
妻子：It’s a good day to die. Nevere back. Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your ount.
阿三：Okay okay!
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
The End
Ⅱ 荆轲刺秦王剧本
第一幕：
(突然霹雷巨响，外面暴风骤雨）
太子丹：秦王要兼并天下之地，臣服海内之人，贪婪至极。现在，秦国已经灭了韩国，又南伐楚，北讨赵。赵国支持不住，肯定要降秦，接下来就是燕国了。燕国力弱民少，根本不是秦国的对手。而各诸侯国害怕秦王，又不敢合纵。我私下以为，如果有一位勇士出使秦国，以重利相诱，劫持秦王，迫使他全部归还诸侯的土地，那当然最好不过了。如若不行，干脆杀了他，然后乘其内乱，诸侯合纵，一定能打败秦人。只是我至今还不知道派谁合适，请荆卿帮我。
荆轲：这是国家大事，荆轲资质驽钝，恐怕不能胜任。
太子丹：秦兵早晚要渡过易水，如果这样那么我虽然想长久地侍奉您，恐怕是不行了？
荆轲：可是到秦国去，必须有信物，否则就无法接近秦王。
太子丹：荆卿有何妙计？
荆轲：秦国用千斤黄金和封万户侯悬赏缉拿樊于期将军，希望给我樊将军的首级与燕国督亢的地图，拿去进献，秦王一定会高兴地接见我，我这才能实现计划。
太子丹：樊将军在危难之际来投奔，我不忍心杀他，请荆卿另想办法。
荆轲：大敌当前，太子您要以大局为重啊！况且樊将军父母宗族都被秦国戮没，他早就恨透了秦王，只是不知道该怎么办。
太子丹犹豫：这个这个，容我好好想一想，想想......
荆轲：为了燕国的子民，为了全天下受苦的百姓，太子一定要拿定主意啊！
太子丹无奈道：也只有委屈樊将军了。来人哪。
（秦舞阳捧着把匕首上场）
太子丹：这是天下最锋利的匕首，我用两百黄金从赵人徐夫人那儿买来，匕首已经用毒药浸泡过。
（太子丹把匕首给荆轲，转身对秦舞阳）
太子丹：秦舞阳你是燕国的勇士，我命你为副使，作为荆轲的助手和他一道去。
秦舞阳：谨遵太子命。
太子丹：时间不早了，你们开始动身吧！
荆轲：太子保重。如果现在去了却不能够回来向太子复命，那是小人！告辞！
（荆轲大声笑而去，秦舞阳紧随，太子涕泪交加，痛切异常）
Ⅲ 急需荆轲刺秦王英语搞笑话剧剧本！！！！！
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero，we need your help.
荆柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荆柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China.
荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t rece my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……
（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）
荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!
Action Ш
（《大话西游》主题曲响起）
荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）
荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）
荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.
妻子:"I promise."
荆轲:"Never let go. “
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）
妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，
荆珂上船，渐渐远去
妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
阿三：Okay okay!
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
The End
Ⅳ 要快！谁能帮忙翻译通俗的话剧剧本 荆轲刺秦王 很短的!
(Middle-wei Qin sat grim expression)
Guards: report ~~~~~ envoys of Yan Jing Ke, Qin Wu Yang Wang audience ~~~~~( then stood side)
Wang: Xuan (B soldiers searched in front of palace, from the Qin Dynasty found on towels, cups, lunch boxes, toothbrushes and other items)
Qin: These are the necessities of life, I am far away from home, left them, life would be in trouble, most recently Xianyang prices rose again to buy so many things I spent a lot of money, which I
There is money to buy tickets to see Warrior ah!
Jing: less wordy! Proper business to bear! (B to be closed military map, Qin Hold)
Qin: (tone Jiaochen) not touch, which is dedicated to the Crown Prince Dan of Yan King of the map, we have to presented to King, and Get out of your dirty hand open, hate! (Passage on stage) (see Qin king, frightened
Startled expression, the hands of maps fall, Qin wondering)
Jing: The child is not seen what the various aspects of society, yesterday and still wanted to see the king shouted, how embarrassing to see you here again
.
Qin (for the audience, his face was disgusting to the expression): I have heard that the King of Qin is the second F4 another girl after the killer F5, today, a view, is really more than frogs also dinosaurs, than the dinosaurs also frogs ah, (transfer
While the King of Qin, sorry to laugh) to see the handsome guy will inevitably be soft, forgive me, forgive me
Jing Ke Qin right: "The situation is not good I Xianpao, and brothers do well."
Jing Ke: "Hey, are you this guy. Turned to the King of Qin: I beg your pardon, this child home to see a cartoon.
Qin: Adam is not send text messages that you helicopters, 5 minutes to do? How do you play for three months?
Jing Ke: Do you think there are still people would open helicopter do?
Qin: Oh, I see! Then I'll ask you a question good
!
Jing Ke: say!
Qin: If you and the bear race who you want to run fast?
Jing Ke: I am!
Qin: bear, wild beasts will call! Did not think you're better than animals but also animals!
Guards: But King of mercy, you have a new opportunity to choose!
Jing Ke: Bear!
Qin: did not expect that you will not even animals do not like!
Qin: But see you are so pathetic, the last to give you one more chance!
Jing Ke: as fast!
Qin: I have not thought of you and your animals a kind!
Jing Ke: You, you, you ... ...
Qin: Are you What is it you, you, you tall, 呀 you!
Wang: (puzzled) Are you (for Jing) If a person stops making things (Jing Qin took over from the map, walked)
Jing: King See, this is the Yan State 15 cities are bustling place, in order to enable people from the war, Prince Edward is willing to submit to this form the heart of King: (King gaze Jing) Yan Wang seemed to provoke a war to blame Guaren ?
Jing: Shu-Chen Yu, see if there is no war, peace and harmony relatives are reunited lovers can Chengjuan Zhu, turn hostility into harmony, would not Miya?
Wang: Guaren It is precisely this intention, if 10000 people as one, no heresy, then peace and prosperity is drawing near, Men Suddenly in Black's life Zhiqiu a unified world, why should they arrest section too?
Jing: King unwilling to say that the armistice it?
Wang: You Ji my heart, why do you ask? (Wang continues to open map)
Jing: (Map opens quickly picked up the dagger) said: "Then I would send you here on the Western Paradise bar. (Open play)
Guards: King carefully (direct hit the pole)!
(Qin took the opportunity to be a long sword lay in body neck Jing Ke.)
Qin: Ha ha ha ... ...
Jing Ke: Xi Yishui Han Feng Xiaoxiao, Xi warrior no longer has to go also ... ...
(Scene fixed grid)
Voice-over: The next day, Crown Prince Dan of Yan Jing Ke was killed in a message ... ...
Scroll erected.
Ⅳ 推荐英文短剧剧本
荆轲刺秦王吧 我们刚演过 效果很好
荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本
（Introction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：
Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众）
I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~
（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?
荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero，we need your help.
荆柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荆柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China.
荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t rece my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……
（《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。）
荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!
Action Ш
（《大话西游》主题曲响起）
荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.
阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.
荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends
太子丹：I will miss you, baby.
（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）
荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.
妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》）
荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)
妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.
荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.
妻子:"I promise."
荆轲:"Never let go. “
妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."
（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）
妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，
荆珂上船，渐渐远去
妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……
妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
阿三：Okay okay!
旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
The End
Ⅵ 求一篇英文短剧剧本
http://www.hxen.com/yingyujuben/ 这个网站上有，五个人的，六个人的，都是一些话剧，可以根据自己的需要选v 英文剧本 Legend of phoenix (2007-09-06 21:36:03)
v 英文电影剧本 Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2007-09-06 21:35:00)
v 英语短剧剧本The Pocket Money (2007-06-30 10:48:31)
v 英语小品剧本 -- 孙悟空vs猪八戒 (2007-03-30 12:03:58)
v 《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧） (2007-03-30 12:03:58)
v 英语小品剧本 -- 英语剧本买药 (2007-03-30 12:03:57)
v 英语小品剧本 -- The Pocket Money (2007-03-30 12:03:57)
v 英语小剧本-----小红帽 (2007-03-30 12:03:56)
v 英语小品剧本 -- 貂禅 (2007-03-30 12:03:56)
v 英语表演剧本--小狮子找食物 (2007-03-30 12:03:54)
v 英语童话剧：白雪公主<剧本> (2007-03-30 12:03:54)
v 英语小品剧本-- 英语剧本买药 (2007-03-30 12:03:53)
v 英语小品剧本 -- 英语剧本 魔豆 (2007-03-30 12:03:53)
v 英语小品剧本 -- Big words of western tour （大话西游） (2007-03-30 12:03:52)
v 英语小品剧本 -- Learn to love (2007-03-30 12:03:52)
v 英语小品剧本 -- 防空洞英文剧本 (2007-03-30 12:03:51)
v 英语小品剧本 -- 男孩和他的树>----中英文 (2007-03-30 12:03:51)
v 英语小品 Another day in paradise (2007-03-30 12:03:50)
v 英语小品剧本 -- 英语话剧剧本●傻子春天 (2007-03-30 12:03:50)
v 英语短剧：Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (2007-03-30 12:03:49)
v 英语短剧：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威） (2007-03-30 12:03:49)
v 英语小品剧本 -- The Gifts （礼物） (2007-03-30 12:03:47)
v 英语小品剧本 -- 音乐剧：Peter and the Wolf （彼德与狼） (2007-03-30 12:03:47)
v 英语小品剧本 -- 英语话剧《新梁祝外传》剧本 (2007-03-30 12:03:46)
v 英语小品剧本 -- THE MASK 面膜 (2007-03-30 12:03:46
Ⅶ 荆轲刺秦王中文搞笑话剧剧本
（天刚刚放亮，荆柯扛着巨大无比的一卷地图走上金銮殿，记者秦、记者舞、记者阳跟在他身后，文武百官持笏肃立，机械战警排列两旁，秦王打了个大大的哈欠，赵高一声令下：带溜子喽----！）
记者秦：搞什么搞啊？一大早就要人起床，我牙还没刷呢！
记者舞：根据我的经验，我们是要去行刺。走了这么多天，荆轲啥时候请我们喝过早茶？
记者阳：拿钱来！昨天晚上输钱，你们说今天早上还的。
记者秦：没法还，你看这大殿上连个泡斯机都没有，怎么涮卡啊？
记者舞：既然还不了钱，咱们只好继续打牌了。盘口已经开出来了，我押下盘，赌荆轲刺不成！
记者阳：别急，开刺之前庄家肯定还要调整的，想赢钱啊？问荆轲本人好了，反正搜狐的人在里面做直播，咱们打牌先，呆会儿上网抄篇稿改改就成了。
（荆轲走到大殿前，突然发现身后没有了众记者，顿时底气虚了三分，气愤地跑了回来。）
荆柯：三缺一居然都不叫我，没义气啊！
赵高：各位朋友大家早上好！欢迎来到秦王的世界，如今我们大王正在进行着统一中国、合六为一的超级事业，简称中超！有钱的请帮个钱场，没钱的帮个火葬场。咦，这位面生的是谁啊？神仙？妖怪？谢谢！
荆轲：在下荆柯，是特意从燕国跑来行刺的。
赵高：我没问你不要乱答话，下面那个人！
荆柯：那是我的三个助手，他们在斗地主。
赵高：我没问你不要乱答话，地主旁边那个人！
观众甲：我是荆轲的粉丝，听说秦王今天终于肯跟刺客对话了，代表广大影迷特意前来为勇士站脚助威。这是我们的口号，路克----！
（观众甲亮出一件燕军战袍，上书几行黑字：坚决支持荆轲刺秦！！！秦王残暴立即下课！！！）
荆轲：不要急不要急，慢慢来，大家都有份。后面的兄弟，请把家伙亮出来！走两步，上来走两步！
（观众乙、观众丙、观众丁等手持“造反有理、刺秦无罪”横幅上台）
观众甲乙丙丁（唱）：我的家住在，二环路的里边，没招过谁，也没惹过谁……
荆轲：各位见笑了啊！这些都是俺们村那嘎达的，今天请出来，没别的意思，就是要为荆轲当个托、出口气，秦王确实太不像话了！你们每人代表100百万人，就是400万啊！
（记者秦舞阳冲上来，分别端着照相机、摄像机、录音笔一顿狂扫。）
赵高：根据去年人口普查的数据显示，咱们全国只有130万人。
荆轲（猛敲赵高的脑袋）：我没问你不要乱答话，多几百万怎么了，爹妈勤奋点儿，迟早生得出来！
（金銮殿的两边墙上已经写满了标语：“你拍一，我拍一，随便罢战要很批。” “上帝赋予每个人任意胡吹的权力”“罚分罚款，倾家荡产”“一人红牌，全队光荣”“罢踢、罢采、罢吹都要予以严打” ）
荆轲：秦舞阳，这屋子里的气氛很古怪啊！我有一种不祥的感觉。
记者秦舞阳：废话！用脚后跟想想你也会明白的，这是秦王的地盘耶！
荆轲：我kao ! I 服了 YOU !
（高堂之上，秦王在发呆中，赵高在翻书，荆轲急急跑入。）
赵高：大王小心！燕国的刺客已经拿着匕首来到面前了！！
秦王：泻特！不拿匕首那还叫刺客吗？荆轲，除了行刺你还擅长什么？
荆轲：回大王，跳舞！
秦王：来来来，咱们跳上一曲，走向共识，秦王与荆轲的情意长啊，好像那流水日夜响，一二唱！
记者秦舞阳（起哄）：不许跳！我们大老远走到咸阳，专门要看荆轲怎么行刺秦王的！
荆轲：泻特！图穷才能匕首见，现在秦王还不想看地图，我有什么办法。
（太子丹手持青龙偃月指甲刀，哼着“打虎上山序曲”，鼻口窜血上场）
观众甲：我KAO！快来看神仙打架了啊！
太子丹（抱住秦王）：我只是来拉架的，大家不要吵啊！荆轲，还不快动手？
观众乙：拉偏架啊！太子丹你什么动机？革命也是要有资格的噢！
荆轲：地图太长了，匕首夹得过紧，拔不出来了。
观众丙：不想刺就别刺了，人格有问题，装什么装啊！
赵高：荆轲！秦王已经给足你面子了，好歹你也是个常委！
观众丁：前面的请让开一点儿，小心溅一身血啊！
机械战警：荆轲，杀不杀？杀不杀？杀不杀？
（太子丹捡起荆轲扔下的地图册，面向现场观众摊开，上面写着一行大字“皇帝轮流做明年到我家”。）
太子丹：妈妈的荆轲革命不彻底，老子白装枪给他放了，看我的！这里有13个文件，压也压死他了！
秦王：荆轲刺秦，是坏事也是好事！太子丹的态度也是积极的。
机械战警：大王小心！他手里拿的不是地图，是匕首耶！
秦王：跟我玩文件、拼章程？小样！忘了我是干嘛出身的了吧？
赵高（挡在太子丹面前）：杀鸡焉用牛刀！俺老赵一人，便足以抵挡六国千军万马。
（赵高两手各持一本精装文件，一为《国际刺联章程》，一为《打架法》上下翻飞，将太子丹手中的13个文件逐一击落在地。）
秦王：好了好了，别闹了。记者秦舞阳还在外面等着听结果呢，回去都好好想想，写份2000字以上的检讨书
送来给我看，散朝！
记者秦：原来他们早就庭外和解了，真没劲！
记者舞：胳膊拧不过大腿，反正也刺不了人家。
Ⅷ 要快！英文翻译 谁能帮忙翻译通俗的话剧剧本 荆轲刺秦王 很短的!
侍卫：报~~~~~燕国使臣荆轲，秦武阳觐见~~~~~ Bodyguard: newspaper teeth to bite Yan envoy Jing Ke, Qin Wuyang to see teeth to bite 秦：这些都是生活必需品，我大老远从家来，离开了他们，生活上就会遇到麻烦，最近咸阳物价又涨，买这么多东西就花了我不少银子，我哪 还有钱买票看兵马俑啊！ Qin: These are the necessities of life, I came all the way from home, leave them, life would be in trouble, most recently Xianyang prices rose again, to buy so many things I spent a lot of money, which I had tickets to see Terracotta Army! 荆：少罗嗦！正事要紧！ Jing : bitch! Business before pleasure! 秦：不许碰，这是燕太子丹献给大王的地图，我们要呈给大王的，快把你的脏手拿开，讨厌！ Qin: don't touch, it is YAN Dan prince gives king map, we want to present to the king, get your filthy hands off me, hate! 荆：这孩子就是没见过什么世面，昨天还吵着嚷着要见大王的，怎么今天见到又不好意思了 。 Jing: the child is not seen much of the world, yesterday was also noisy shouting to the king, how today see and feel shy. 秦：我听说那秦王是继F4之后的又一少女杀手F5，今日一见，真是比青蛙还恐龙，比恐龙还青蛙啊，见到帅哥难免手软，见谅，见谅。 Qin: I heard that the king of Qin is afterwards F4after another girl killer F5, when I saw him today, really than frog also dinosaur, dinosaur also than frog ah, see a handsome boy is soft, forgive me, forgive me. 秦对荆轲:"情况不妙,我先跑了,兄弟好好干." Qin on Jing Ke:" the worst comes to the worst, I run, brother to do a good job" 荆轲:"喂,你这家伙. 转身对秦王:不好意思,这小孩回家看动画片了. Jing Ke:" Hey, you guys. Turn to the king: feel shy, the child home watching cartoons. 秦王：阿丹不是发短信说你直升飞机，5分钟就到吗？你怎么玩了三个月？ Qin: Adan is not a text message saying that your helicopter,5minutes arrive? How do you play three months? 荆轲：您认为现在还有人会开直升飞机吗？ Jing Ke: you think it will also open the helicopter? 秦王：哦，原来如此！那我就问你一个问题好了 ！ Qin: Oh, so that is what it is! I asked you a question! 荆轲：说！ 秦王：如果你和狗熊赛跑，你希望谁跑得快？ 荆轲：我！ Jing Ke said! Qin: if you and the coward race, you want someone who runs faster? Jing Ke: i! 秦王：狗熊，禽兽呼！没想到你比禽兽还要禽兽！ Qin: bears, beast called! I didn't think you than the animals and animals! 侍卫：不过大王慈悲,你还有一次从新选择的机会！ Bodyguard: but king compassion, you have a new choice! 荆轲：狗熊！ Jing Ke: bear! 秦王：没想到你连禽兽都不如！ Qin : I didn't think you worse than animals! 秦王：不过看你这么可怜，最后再给你一次机会！ 荆轲：一样快! King: but you look so miserable, finally to give you a second chance! Jing Ke: as fast as! 秦王：没想到你和禽兽一个样！ Qin : I didn't think you and a kind of animals! 荆轲：你，你，你…… Jing Ke: you, you, you ... ... 秦王：你什么呀你，你你个头呀你！ King: you what you, your head ah you! 王：你一个人把东西呈上来 荆：大王请看，此十五城皆是燕国繁华之地，为能使百姓免于战乱，太子愿以此表臣服之心王：燕王似乎在责怪寡人挑起战乱？ King: you put something was up Jing: King please see, the fifteen cities are Yan flourishing ground, to enable people from war, Prince would like to watch surrender heart: Yan King seems to blame I provoke a war? 荆：恕臣愚见，若无战事，天下太平，亲人可以团聚，有情人可以成眷属，化戾气为祥和，岂不美哉？ Jing : forgive his opinion, if there is no war, peace reigns over the land., family can reunite, the lovers can be together, turn hostility into harmony, not beautiful? 王：寡人正是此意，若万民一心，再无异端，则太平盛世不远，大丈夫一生只求统一天下，又何必太拘小节？ Wang: what is the intention, if all nations, no heresy is a time of national peace and order, not far from her life, but unified the world, why should it be too squeamish? 荆：这么说大王不愿停战了？ Jing: King to say truce? 王：你既知我心，又何必多问？ King: you know my heart, why ask? 荆：说:"那我就在这里送你上西天吧。 Jing: said:" I'm here send you to your grave. 侍卫:大王小心！ Bodyguard: King watch! 秦王：哈哈哈…… Qin: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ... ... 荆轲：风萧萧兮易水寒，壮士已去兮不复还…… Jing Ke: the wind blows strongly the Yi River is so cold, he has been to Xi never return ... ... 画外音：次日，燕国太子丹得到了荆轲被杀的消息…… Narrator: the next day, YAN Dan prince had Jing Ke been killed ... ... 画卷立起. Scroll stand.
Ⅸ 求英语短剧的剧本！
Characters: (In the order of appearance)
Jerry as Michael (M)
Li as Alex (A)
Mark as Chris (C)
Vincent as Waiter (W)
The three emotions we express in this play: victorious, disgusted and confused
SCENE 1
(In the Railway Station)
M: Alex, Chris! You are back!
A&C: Michael! Oh, thank you for picking us here. We're so glad to see you!
M: Me too. Congratulations to your victory in the national final competition! It must be an exciting moment when you heard that you get the golden medals, isn't it?
A: Yes. I just can't believe that we defeated all other competitors! Right, Chris?
C: Yes, it was really amazing. You know, just in one second, you became the winner, and you became the elite. It happened so sudden that I wondered whether I was dreaming.
M: Well, you guys will soon find that you're not dreaming. Now you're the idols of all the students in the university! I think you can attend the American Idol now!
A: Oh, please, I don't want to be idol…
C: (Interrupt): Yes, because you're not an American idol, you're just "Alex idiot".
A: Hey, Chris! (All of them laugh)
M: Ok, guys, it's getting late. You must be hungry after 23-hours trip. What about going to have dinner first?
C: That sounds great to me. What about you, Alex?
A: I'm starving. Let's go.
SCENE 2
(In the restaurant)
A: We've sit here for five minutes, and no waiter comes!
M: Come on, Alex, have patience. Maybe they're just too busy to serve us.
C: Really? I don't think they're busy. Look at those two waiters, they're laughing, but not working! Hey! You! Come here! (A second) Please bring us the menus.
W: OK, sir. Here you are, sir.
A: You see, we have three people here. Can you bring two more menus for us?
W: Sorry, sir. We don't have extra menus.
C: Oh, you don't? Then what's that? (Point to the other table) Don't tell me that's not menu.
W: It is, sir. But it belongs to that table.M: But we can't see anyone having dinner there.
W: Yes, but…
C: Don't say any "but" to me. Now, you bring the menus to us, or we bring the complaints to your boss.
W: OK, here you are, sir.
(They order the food)
SCENE 3
(30 minutes later)
A: I'm starving! Where's our food? Waiter!
W: Yes, sir?
M: We give the order 30 minutes ago, but nothing is served still. Can you ask the kitchen to cook faster?
W: Oh, they cook fast, very fast. But your food is not easy to cook, it needs more time. You should be patience.
C: We should be patience? Yes, we are patience, we are patience enough to wait for the mother pig giving birth to the baby pig, we are patience enough to wait for the baby pig growing up, and we are patience enough to wait for the grown pig being killed and becoming my pork steak! Now, give you five minutes. If we can't see our food in five minutes, we will give our patience to another better-served restaurant!
W: OK, sir. Please wait a second.
SCENE 4
(The food is being served)
M: I ordered the Cappuccino, but what's this? Coca Cola?
W: Exactly, it's Pepsi Cola.
M: I don't care what kind of cola it is, what I want is coffee, not cola!
W: Well, sir, they share the same color. And I think cola tastes better…
C: Great, and rabbit and rat share the same letters. So why don't you give me a rat if I order the rabbit? Jesus! Ridiculous!
A: I can't stand this stupid restaurant and this idiotic waiter any more. Chris, Michael, let's go.
C&M: Right, let's go.
SCENE 5
(Outside the restaurant)
A: I can't believe that is a restaurant. I'd rather say that it's a psychiatric hospital!
M: Yes, that's terrible! How can it survive in the market economics?
C: The important thing is how can it survive in Guangzhou? This city is going to hold the Asian Game in 2010. If there're some more restaurants like this, what will the foreign people think about Guangzhou and China?
A, C&M: (Sigh)