『壹』 急！！！求英语搞笑短剧剧本。

英语搞笑短剧剧本 AprilFool'sDayN: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman", nobody like him except his mother. How time flies!F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family.Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye!N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man.U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please?F: Ok, hereU: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck!N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly.D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great!!! （上前抓木棒，却被粘在上面） Oh! Dear! I can't leave it! （吃惊地）: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you! （走向木棒）D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous!D2: You can come, so I can come, too! （也被粘在木棒上） Oh, my god! What's wrong with me?D1: What a pity!N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant. Of course, two girl followed him. In the field they met an old scientist.S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station. （抓stick ,也被粘住） Oh! Bad luck! Terrible!N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed.King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife.F: Let me try , Perhaps I can.N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed.k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your 生辰八字. Which day is your birthday?F: April 1.转自：K: Oh! What a great boy! Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called "Fool World"! Very suits you, right?!N: The result is ——The follman lived happily with his wife until they died. That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool". 请问这个可以吗??

『贰』 求搞笑的英语短剧

阿甘正传的片断

FORREST (voice-over) That Momma, she sure was right.
It's funny how things work out.
EXT. BAYOU LA BATRE/BUBBA'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY
Forrest walks up to a shack on the edge of the Bayou. A group of black kids play in the front yard.
FORREST (voice-over)
I didn't stay home for long, because I'd made a
promise to Bubba. And I always try to keep my promise.
So I went on down to Bayou La Batre to meet Bubba's
family and make their introction.
Bubba's mother named MRS. BLUE and her other children look at Forrest.
MRS. BLUE Are you crazy, or just plain stupid?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, Mrs. Blue.
MRS. BLUE I guess.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE - DAY
Forrest steps over to Bubba's tombstone.
FORREST (voice-over)
And of course, I paid my respect to Bubba himself.
FORREST Hey, Bubba, it's me, Forrest Gump. I remember
everything you said, and I got it all figured out.
Forrest pulls out notes from his pocket.
FORREST I'm taking the twenty-four thousand, five hundred
and six-two dollars and forty-seven cents that I got...
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest walks across a yard where men are cleaning shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
... well, that's left after a new hair cut and a
new suit and I took Momma out to real fancy dinner
and I bought a bus ticket and three Doctor Peppers.
Forrest walks along a wooden pier. Forrest pays an old black shrimper a large wad of cash.
OLD SHRIMPER Tell me something. Are you stupid or something?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, sir.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE
Forrest stands at the grave.
FORREST Well, that's what's left after me saying, "When I was
in China on the All-America Ping-Pong Team, I just
loved playing ping-pong with my Flex-O-Ping-Pong Paddle."
Which everybody knows it isn't true, but Momma says
it's just a little white lie so it wouldn't hurt nobody.
So, anyway, I'm putting all that on gas, ropes and new
nets and a brand-new shrimpin' boat.
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest steers his shrimping boat. The boat is old and rusty. Forrest unleashes his nets as his catch of the day drops to the deck. It is a bunch of garbage and shells. Forrest picks up one shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
Now, Bubba had told me everything he knows about shrimpin',
but you know what I found out? Shrimpin' is tough.
EXT. DOCKS
Forrest pulls a couple of shrimp out of a bucket.
FORREST I only caught five.
OLD SHRIMPER A couple of more, you can have yourself a cocktail.
The old shrimper begins to walk away, then stops and looks at Forrest.
OLD SHRIMPER Hey, you ever think about namin' this old boat?
FORREST (voice-over) I'd never named a boat before,
but there was only one I could think of.
Forrest paints a name on the side of his boat. The name is "Jenny."
FORREST (voice-over)
The most beautiful name in the wide world.

灰姑娘
白 :Long ago, there lived a girl. Her mather had died and her father had married again,His new wife had two daugters. They are so bad as their mother. The poor girl had to work day and night. She must sleep in the kitchen. She weared drity clothes. All of them called her cinders for Cinderella. However, we’ll show you a different play today.
(灰姑娘昂首挺胸帅气十足地上场)
旁白 ：She is so strong, and smart. Especially she is good at sport.
Now, she is running for the 100 meter race.(灰姑娘冲刺,旁边老师读秒:11’9)
Now, she is playing basketball.(灰姑娘以一敌众,轻松灌篮)
Now,she is practicing Chinese gongfu(灰姑娘打拳,对手倒)
This is her----Cinderella
灰姑娘(怒,看旁白) :Do you finish?
旁白 :Ok(结巴)continue, even she is perfect, she still can’t escape the poor life, Why? That is-----
继母(假装洗衣服) :How cold the water! I’m too old to do anything, My leg is so painful.
(灰姑娘默,从继母手中拿过洗衣盆)
(一姐将盆碗碰得乱响.灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过盆碗)
(一姐手持针线缝衣,刺手,尖叫—灰姑娘默,从姐手中拿过衣服)
第一幕
(灰姑娘在帮后母按摩肩膀)
二姐(奔入,扬动手中传单) :Mom, Mom, Look! There are some leaflets. I got them on the street.
The King is having a party. The Prince will look for a wife.
一姐(托腮) :I must be choosen, I am the most beautiful girl in the world.
二姐(凭空跳舞) :No, Not you. I have the charming shape, I am the Queen.
(两姐争吵起来,继母从女儿手中拿过传单,亲吻)
继母 :Oh, baby. Stop. You two are the most beautiful girls in our country. He will probably choose one of you. Come on , make up yourself. We haven’t enough time!(瞪灰姑娘)Cinderella, what are you doing? Come here, help your sisters!
灰姑娘 :OK, I will. But, mom, can I go to the party tonight? I want to ------
(三人敛神)
一姐 :Oh, my God! I forgot Tim’s homework. He gave us a lot of homework.. I can’t finish, what should I do ?
二姐(拿书,指,附和) :Oh, Yes, Yes. Look, execise A, excise B, excise C, excise D, excise E, Oh, planning tree, essay, study plan------(偷瞄灰姑娘,哭)Oh, my God! Oh, my party! My Prince! My happyness! and the country’s future!
灰姑娘(慌乱,安慰) :My sisters, don't cry! I always do the homework for you, of course tonight!
(母女三人一通忙乱后) : Goodbye, our lively girl!
第二幕
(魔女骑着一把几乎掉光了的扫把登场)
旁白 :Oh, 哈里波特!
(魔女撞到灰姑娘)
灰姑娘(怒) :Who are you ?
魔女(得意) :I am the best witch, and the most beautiful witch. I can give you all the thing you wish.
灰姑娘 : Really? Do you kown King’s party? I want to go, but------(低头看自己的破衣服)
魔女(大笑) :Don’t worry. It is easy for me! Look, clothes, shose,car-----
灰姑娘(面露欣喜,扑向鞋子) :Oh, how beautiful glass shoses!
魔女 :Wear it, and go !
第三幕
(富丽堂皇的大厅里,音乐飘扬,人声鼎沸.女士们翘首以待)
侍卫(击杖) :Welcome the Prince.
(鼓掌,欢呼)
国王(严肃) : Please be quiet! As everybody knows, today I will chooes a beautiful, slim, homorous, and long hair girl for my son----(转身,指向王子),handsome, strong, tall, and brave!
(王子做害羞状)
众女士 :How lively! How handsome! (做陶醉状,冲向前,将王子团团围住)
(此时,飞出一女,持扇 “杀出一条血路”)
(王子与灰姑娘共舞,突然手机铃声响起)
王子 :Who’s phone?
灰姑娘 :Oh, it’s my phone!(掏手机边跳舞,边接电话) This is Cinderella, speaking!
魔女 :It 12’clock, game will be over, come back quickly!Or you’ll change back!(开始敲钟)
灰姑娘 :Oh, I must go!(慌忙中跑,掉了一只鞋)
王子(检起鞋,追) :Wait! You forget give me you name, and you phone number!
王子(注视姑娘远去,悲情) :I’ve lost her!
第四幕
旁白 : Since the party, Prince fall in love with Cinderella, the Prince decided to look for the mysterious girl. He issued a proclamation, “Whoever the glass shoe fits, shall be wife to the Prince!”
(王子带着士兵到处找人试鞋)
士兵 :Please try the shoe!(女士甲试鞋) Oh, your foot is too big!
士兵 :Please try the shoe!(女士乙试鞋) Oh, my God, what a terrible smell! Of coures not you !
旁白 :A t lat, the Prince come to Cinderella ‘s home.
(两姐站在门口,花痴状) :Oh, the Prince is coming, he is so handsome! He is so cool!
士兵(拿着鞋) :Please try the galss shoe.
(两姐妹正抢): Oh, it is my shoe! ------Oh, it is my shoe!
(士兵夺过鞋,递给大姐): You first!(大姐拿过鞋,却怎么也穿不进去)
士兵 : Stop doing that. You foot is too long, you will break the shoe!
二姐(得意) :I said, it is my shoe.(抢过鞋,试穿,费了九牛二虎之力终于穿上,走开来)
二姐 : ****, too small!(甩掉鞋,蹲下揉脚,鞋飞到灰姑娘身上)
继母(怒吼) : Why are you here? Back to kitchen! Wash the dishes!
士兵 : Wait! Every girl must try !
继母 : She is drity! It is couldn’t be her!(灰姑娘默,轻松的穿上了鞋)
王子(欢呼) :Oh, it fits! I found you !(王子和灰姑娘拥在一起)
旁白 :The Prince was delighted to found her, and on a bright sunny day, he and Cinderella were merried. They lived happily ever after!

『叁』 我是大一学生，老师让我们组表演‘英语幽默短剧’10分钟左右，有10或11个角色的幽默短剧

这个我们上学期用过，很好用的~~
暴笑+老师好评~~~

Performance @ College : Story of Johnny and Lunch (孔雀东南飞现代搞笑版)

Characters:

Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台，内砸出一个纸筒，J被打中，狼狈不堪)
J: Everybody says that I'm henpecked, but in fact, I'm as strong as a tiger. (Whisper)While my wife is Wu Song. (拍门大叫)I'm not afraid of you! （内砸出一脸盆，J接着当成盾牌护着）Then,I'm afraid of whom? My wife lunch is the most famous woman in neighbourhood. She's braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me.All of this I do not care. I just want her to be tender than me. But she isn't! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!

Act One
(序幕结束时，JM作窃听状)
JM:(拄着拐棍上)I can! (对门内)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?
L：（揸住锅铲，扎着围裙，从门内跳出来）I'm here!I'm cutting chicken. What's up mum?
JM: I've told you again and again that you should call me "my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law".
L: Ok. My most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what's up?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly, been so rude, so brusque, so lazy...
L: But...
JM:Never interrupt me!
L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day, cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chickens and...
JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L:(生气挥动锅铲)Oh, you want a grandson, don't you?(开始脱围裙) Go and ask your son. I'm leaving!(扔下围裙，扔到JM脸上，下台)

Act Two
(LM坐在台上打毛线，L拿着锅铲上台)
L: Mum, I'm back.
LM: You're back? Why? What happened?
L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law.
LM(惊讶，但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor. But you didn't listen to me. Look at yourself now!
L: But, mum...
LM: Never interrupt me!
L: Mum, I'm not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right, OK? And I'll marry whomever you want me to.
LM: (大喜)Nice girl! Just now, I met the Mayor's Son in the market. He said,"If your daughter haven't been married, I really really want to marry her!" Now that you're free again, I'll go and tell him (下台).
L: (惊愣)What? The Mayor's Son? The most famous play boy in neightbourhood? (手中锅铲掉地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下台)

Act Three
(J 睡眼惺忪上台)
J: (边走边道)Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks? (走几步，在地上捡起袜子) Here they are! (闻一下) ER...How smelly! They're still dirty! (突然想起) Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself! （肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来）Oh, I'm so hungry, but there is no breakfast! (捡起地上的围裙) This is Lunch's apron(围裙)! I miss her...EXCELLENT cooking skill so much! Now that she has gone, I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM:(上台) Where's my breakfast? Where is Lunch? Hasn't she got up yet?
J：Mum, can't you remember? Lunch has gone!
JM: (沉吟片刻) Well, to tell you the truth, Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl. Go and take her back.
J: (立正敬礼)YES, MADAM!

ACT FORE
(J 开心地走着，忽然跳出三强盗)
A: Hey you! Stop and listen to me. The road is built by me!(一脚踩在一石头上)
B: And I planted one tree!(踩同一石头)
C: If you want to go by this street...(欲踩石头，但踩到A的脚)
B：Give us...
A: All
C: your money!
J: （搜遍每一口袋，掏出一1角硬币）Is 1 mao enough?
(ABC晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A: What a bad luck! This guy is broken!
B: If we can't rob any money today, we'll have nothing to eat tonight.
C: I heard that the Mayor's Son is going to marry Miss Lunch next month, we can go and rob the wedding!
AB: Good idea!
J:(惊讶)What? What? Lunch is going to get married? Impossible!
A:Why?
B: A pretty girl and a rich man.
C: What a good couple!
J: But Lunch is my wife, we haven't got divorced yet.(突然有主意) I've got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, aren't you? I'll go with you. you take the money, and I take the bride.
B: Have you got any experience?
J: No, but I've got this!(J 脱下鞋子，从里面抹出一张支票，上书：$1,000,000,ABC见状跟着J下台，目光跟着钱)

Act Five
(转眼已到婚礼之期，MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上台，L盖着红盖头极不情愿的被拉上台)
（J A B C 跃至台中）
A: Hey you!
BCJ: Stop and listen to us!
A: The road is built by me.
B: And I planted one tree!
C: If you want to go by this street...
J: Give us all your money!
(L 听到J 的声音，掀起了盖头)
L: （惊喜万分）Johnny! (不顾一切地飞奔到J 的身后)
（MS大怒，挥拳向J 打来，J 矮身一躲，MS 打中J 身后的L , L晕倒）
J: (火冒三丈) How dare you beat my wife! (挥拳打向MS)
(J与 MS混战，JM悄悄上在MS后)
J: (指着MS后向MS讲)Hey, Pretty girl!
(MS向后一望，JM用拐杖将其打倒)
（J 将MS胸前的新郎标志撤下来，戴在自己的胸前）
J: (扶起L,关切地问)Honey, How are you?
L:(Crying...) Thurtalot!
J: Don't cry baby, I'll fetch some medicine for you (下台)
L:(起身去追)Wait for me!(跑下台)

（音乐起：罗密欧与祝英台）

END...

『肆』 求三人表演的英语搞笑短剧,3-5分钟左右的就可以了!

Three visits to the cottage
主要人物：诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白（同时操作电脑）
旁白：
Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐） is a story from one of the Four Great
classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main
characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. Now，let’s go into the story.
第一幕
屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着，
诸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty，猪不亮扫地，送水（营养快线） 三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝） 刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙
A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）
刘：嗯？没点着
En? It dosen’t burn on.
张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟
Sorry，we can only has this.We can’t smoke in the classroom! 关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生 We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang! 张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了
Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much. 三人来到门前，石头剪子布 刘备：According to our custom？ 关羽：OK.
张飞：No problem. 刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。 刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）
刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。
诸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.
仆人：Heng!(哼) 仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。
仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好) 刘备：Can you speak English? 关羽：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak Chinese? 张飞：（紧接着）Can you speak Japanese?

历史老照片不能说的秘密慈禧军阀明末清初文革晚清

刘备：（紧接着）Spanish?
关羽：（紧接着）Congolese? 张飞：（紧接着）Egyptian? 仆人：（紧接着）Shut up! Who are you people? 刘备：(摆个pose)I’m Liubei.
关羽：(也摆个pose)I’m Guanyu.
张飞：(同样摆个pose，把关羽碰倒了)I’m Sorry. 刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。 猪不亮：你们怎么来的啊
What do you three take to come here? 张飞：骑马来的啊，做骑马状 Riding a horse ,of course. 猪不亮：那你们怎么骑马来的啊？ So,How do you riding a horse? 三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门 刘备突然明白了，“money！！” 张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台
第二幕
三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品
关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们 I think we’ll manage it this time.
张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）
What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat! 刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了 稍息。。。立正。。。（张飞关羽照做）
Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention! 刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应） You three! Be clever this time!
屋子中„„
（英文歌，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了） 诸葛亮：MY GOD！！上天你为什么这么惩罚我 My God!! Why do you punish me?!
猪不亮：老大别难过，班长杨超不也没过吗
Don’t be sad,my boss. As I know,our monitor does’t pass the examination. 诸葛亮：我的四级考试啊，开始哭．．．
What？our monitor does’t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed··· （换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门） 猪不亮：谁啊
Who’s this? 张飞：收水费的
I come here to charge the bill of electricity

（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）
刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下
We are here again,bother to notice your boss. （猪不亮四下环顾，把礼品接过来了）
（屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪） 张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语） I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart.. 关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）
Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please. 猪不亮：吟诗，见与不见。。。 （你见，或者不见我
It’s doesn’t matter if you see me or not 我就在那里
I am standing right there 不悲不喜
With no emotion 你念，或者不念我
It’s doesn’t matter if you miss me or not 情就在那里
The feeling is right there 不来不去
And it isn’t going anywhere 你爱或者不爱我
It’s doesn’t matter）
（猪不亮转身关门，站不稳）
刘：What?！！
张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧
I’m afraid some-one important of him died here. Let’s go. Maybe we should come next time. 关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮
Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does’t die„ （关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。。）
第三幕
（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐，术语） （诸葛亮又赢了） 猪不亮：老大你真NB You are the man !
诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作
Hum！That’s a piece of cake. And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s corporation to find a job after Spring Festival.

猪不亮：你想去刘备那里？？
What? You said you wanna to go to Liu Bei’s company? 诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语
En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English. 猪不亮：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了
But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago. 门铃响。。 猪不亮：说来就来了
Speak of the devil and he doth appear. （三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动） 诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧 Boss! I ached for you so much, please help me!
刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧 Be calm. Since you trust me so much, let’s go and do it! （出发。。）
诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。。那，一月多少钱啊
Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will.. I get.. from you then. 张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走） It hurts feelings when it comes to money! （猪不亮在后面拿着包袱，大喊） 猪不亮：带上我吧，（走路（小沈阳状）） Oh, Please take me away. 闭幕。。。。

『伍』 给我一个搞笑的英文短剧！有翻译的！大约10分钟！

The first act [b] [/ b] valentine's day,Cow: hey, look, what doesn't really painful radio to read books? All trouble
Penny: hi's sister is not every year in hard today? No wonder that you don't get excited, I also was unbalanced
Cow: what! O I everyday
Penny: calculate excuses for not all like valentine's day holiday you sad hi have a boyfriend calculate however like me who receives the beauty should also hi star-crossed
Cow: come on, you can still do you sick star-crossed I see is long
Penny: no! Anyway all the same if nobody accompanies a boyfriend just hey I request is not high as a little better than Andy lau: just so little that I deserve it? You said static
O: what made me still finish this problem
Penny: cattle, o you dizzy
Wife: you listen to my brother etc that I really didn't mean it
Belle: smelly boy dare to play me I was professor
Wife: I really think I could write who download the blind is that what you break the professor published
Belle: yeah! Who would have thought of you who will have the opportunity to see whether the sun waiting for tomorrow together with the Iraqi people pray tomorrow
Wife: boss I was wrong, I didn't dare to the next ANiu will help me the medicine
Belle: next time you want to have the next
RMB: oh what fell fast cast out, I have never lost a lot for the loser is how you are here hey
Penny: what? You so as to self-study
RMB: there is handsome but today I but riches! Wish everyday is a valentine's day so I can have confidence in more than 20 years, Bill Gates has to take
Penny: oh, I won't give you any boy tried to chase my this young lady is not so good t
RMB: a dollar
Penny: what a dollar
RMB: come on you when I was a philanthropist the roses are sold me the last remaining in a classmate's sake will charge you a cost one dollar hurry
Penny: you go to your roses
Don't throw the gibbet stem ah, I broke or otherwise, I want you to compensate
ANiu: RMB you too! Not a rose
Penny: not just a rose
ANiu: gave penny let her in valentine's day has rose up
Penny: who wants to you
This is not ANiu RMB: yi? You how can here
ANiu: oh how can't I
RMB: of course not! You can be a cucumber brother today isn't what's on
ANiu: I today and cucumber
Today, but you of the valentine's day holiday
ANiu: who said I and he is
The truth: gee hasn't admit in the eyes
ANiu: I really
RMB to sell the roses cucumber still perhaps can earn two three
ANiu: I and how could he that that
RMB exchange rate: hello: now how much 8.31
The ANiu: why would think so don't understand
Penny: this also no wonder who called you all two pairs idiot would think so
ANiu: paired idiotic to cut it
Penny: look at that cucumber cucumber
Cucumber: oh really exhausted me
Penny: cucumber you big box of small box
Cucumber: I don't want to, but I am born the life that I have what way
How ANiu: who is your chocolate
What is all hide cucumber: but my sister
Penny: why are you carrying on which of the elder sister
ANiu: maybe the supermarket's aunt
Cucumber: what do you see this cut like a girl to send
Penny: otherwise is a boy
Cucumber: play to didn't mean it with me this handsome and natural and unrestrained graceful bearing the handsome prince generous woman sending this day someone's things don't cry to shout a somebody else give I see no way to die, I just don't understand those little girls
Penny: there you are... Made today
Cucumber: tell me about it, not even box of chocolate is still depends on what is the lowest price is $decades as the three digits of chocolate I see one took it into the stbin today, don't know how many girls cry. What is it this way: hi times son have corp.this face
ANiu: ah! The cucumber in uh-oh, I know the way is to carry these are just some of the face is enough for you to call me or a girl
Cucumber: you see this truth call me on my mobile phone, you still play embarrassedly and shy girl
ANiu: that you think why she didn't play your mobile phone
Cucumber: hi somebody else a little girl is always a bit shy? This is not understand my mobile phone? Gee I phone
ANiu: just the shy girl say you are shy of chocolate in the supermarket buy when the phone down on the counter
Cucumber: oh shit
Penny, ANiu: cut hypocrisy
Wang: cucumber how tomorrow also don't now ready to PE! Run so fast to learn to fly? Tomahawk missiles
ANiu: he also wish to fly? How come you miss wang
Wang: oh, this is your next week I filled out the form now go to France, but it's not easy, I spent great effort to get here。给我分

『陆』 英文滑稽短剧

这里很多自己去看，还可以去视频区~

http://tieba..com/f?ct=318898176&tn=KeywordSearch&sc=6&pn=0&rn=50&lm=4&rs3=0&word=%D6%DC%BD%DC%C2

熊猫人4分钟花絮短片：http://mv..com/export/flashplayer.swf?vid=373eb76251f9cb59f8ef3bf3

------
简介：

金鹰娱乐讯 2009年春晚开幕前的花絮中，周杰伦首次向媒体透露09年他将拍摄首部电视作品，科幻偶像剧《熊猫人》，自此引来猜测不断：主角是谁？故事情节怎样？月16日15时，周杰伦在北京出席了《熊猫人》发布会，对电视剧的筹备工作进行了简单的介绍。

据周杰伦介绍，《熊猫人》由他本人与内地两家公司——北京悠悠阳光影视公司和九州音像出品公司联合制作，周董本人将在剧中饰演男主角，而该剧的女主角人选至今仍是个谜。日前记者从投资方了解到，《熊猫人》将会有两位女主角，一位将在台湾确定，而另外一位将从大陆挑选。台湾方面女主角有可能由周杰伦绯闻女友江语晨来扮演，而内地方面的女主角，因条件要求必须是一个美艳性感的尤物，因此周董希望以“四处撒网”式的方式，搜索到自己心中的最佳女主角。至于会不会通过海选来确定女主角?目前尚未有人确定。以往周杰伦的电影，或者音乐录影都少不了他圈中好友的现身捧场，想必这次也不例外，据悉周杰伦的多位好友，都将参加《熊猫人》的演出。

剧情方面，周杰伦也在发布会上“大放送”。据介绍，《熊猫人》中有两个熊猫“英雄”，一个是熊猫超人，一个是熊猫侠。两个英雄难道不会冲突？周杰伦马上解答了记者的疑惑：“首先个性上都不一样，但是非常乐于助人。为什么有《熊猫人》这个想法？首先以爱为出发点，这个熊猫超人的爸爸之前是一个慈善家，做了很多公益活动。有一天有一个绑匪挟持了这个儿童，熊猫爸爸跑去救他，牺牲了自己的生命。于是这个小孩用他爸爸的头，以熊猫的姿态，当他未来的精神。所以之后他穿熊猫装，在社会上打抱不平。而另外一个角色是在动物园打工的这个，在动物园做清洁工……”搞笑的是，说到兴起的周杰伦还是意识到了自己已经曝露了太多剧情，最后一句话没有说完就噤声不肯再说了。

『柒』 搞笑英语话剧剧本

我们班刚演过 ，获得了系里一等奖(孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本) 虽然人物多了一个，可以有群众演员嘛

焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)
刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)
刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)
强盗burglars(abandc)

prologue 序幕

(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)
j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my
wife is wusong.
译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。

(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!
译：我才不怕你呢！

(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！

(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
my god! who can help me?(下)
译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？

act1 第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)
jm(拄拐棍上):i can!
(对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you?
l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?

jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken
and……
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)

act2
(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)
l:mum, i’m back!
lm:you are back?why?what happened?
l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on
marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen
to me. look at yourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:never interrupt me!
l:mum,i’m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and
i’ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter
haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go
and tell him.(下)
l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅
铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)

act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now
she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?
j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice
girl,go and take her back!
j(立正敬礼):yes madam!

act4
(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)
ab&c:give us all your money!
j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulan next month.we can go and
rob the wedding!
a&b:good idea!
j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!
ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)

act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(j和三强盗跃至台中)
abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
c:if you want to go by this street---
j:give us all your money!
(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)
l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)
j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去）
(j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)
(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you?
l(哭状):i hurt a lot!
j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)

『捌』 5分钟左右的英语搞笑短剧~~急（要有汉语翻译）

One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered.
"May I speak to your parents?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there? "
"The police."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They're busy."
"Oh. Is anybody else there?"
"The firemen."
"Can I speak to them?"
"They're busy."
"So let me get this straight -- your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they're all busy? What are they doing? "
"Looking for me."

他们忙着呢

一天，电话响了，一个小男孩接起电话。
“我可以和你的爸妈说话吗？”
“他们忙着呢！”
“哦。旁边还有别人吗？”
“有警察。”
“我能和他们说话吗？”
“他们忙着呢！”
“哦，那还有别人吗？”
“还有消防员。”
“我能和他们说话吗？”
“他们忙着呢！”
“哦，那就是说：你爸妈，警察和消防员都在旁边，但是他们都在忙。他们在干嘛呢？”
“他们在找我。”

2 前台小姐：“hello?”
老外：“hi.”
前台小姐：“you have what thing?”
老外：“can you speak English? ”
前台小姐：“if I not speak English, I am speaking what?”
老外：“can anybody else speak English? ”
前台小姐：“you yourself look. all people are playing, no people have time, you can wait, you wait, you not wait, you go.” 老外：“good heavens. anybody here can speak English?”
前台小姐：“ shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing.”
老外：“I want to speak to your head.”
前台小姐：“head not zai.you tomorrow come.”

『玖』 搞笑的英文情景剧有哪些推荐

了不起的麦瑟尔夫人就是一个很好看的英文情景剧，而且内容也是，女主人公他去追求喜剧，所以里边有很多搞笑的元素在里边，而且这些搞笑的元素也和美国历史有关，可以通过看这部剧增长一些自己对历史的见解和了解。

『拾』 急 找搞笑英语小品剧本（有中英文对照）

呃 英文小品……：抄）

建议袭楼主可以这样去做，把陈佩斯朱时茂的胡椒或者吃面条之类小品改成英文版的，因为他们的小品重表演，轻语言，搞笑都在动作上，尤其这两个小品话尤为少，改起来很容易的～～：）

希望对楼主有所帮助～～：）