搞笑英语话剧3人
语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》 作者：佚名 文章来源：本站原创 点击数：7713 更新时间：2005-11-27 Wanderseveryfivemiles 焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort) 焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort) 太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC) Prologue本文转自： www.coffbar.com 小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影 (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy wifeisWuSong. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou! (内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom? -hood.Sheisbraverthanme, .AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender thanme.Butsheisnot!! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):Ican! (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum? JM:I’“mymostbeautifulgracefuland dearestmother-in-law”. L:OK.-in-law,what’sup? JM:.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Neverinterruptme! L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall daylong,cookingandwashing. and…… JM:! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下) Act2 (LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L:Mum,I’mback! LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened? L:–in-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon marryingthatterribleJohnny,,butyoudidnotlisten tome.Lookatyourself…… L:But,mum…… LM:Neverinterruptme! L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.?And I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto. LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo andtellhim.(下) L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?-hood?(手中的锅 铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下) Act3本文转自： www.coffbar.com 小品剧本，简历封面，免费电影 (J睡眼惺忪上) J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty! (突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围 裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now shehasgone.. JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet? J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone! JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice girl,goandtakeherback! J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam! Act4 (J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous! Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚) AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney! J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough? (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken! B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight! C:Iheardthatthemayor’.WEcangoand robthewedding! A&B:Goodidea! J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible! AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple! J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet! (突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo withyou.. B:Haveyougotanyexperience? J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000) Act5 (转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中) ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous! A:Theroadisbuiltbyme! B:AndIplantedonetree. C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet--- J:Giveusallyourmoney! (L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头) L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后) (MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒) J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去） (J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS) (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou? L(哭状):Ihurtalot! J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下) L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下) (音乐起 CanYouCelebrate) A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please." "Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said. "When will they be ready?" the man asked. "I'm a bit busy, but they'll probably be ready for you on Thursday," he said. "That's fine," the man said, and left the shop. The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hors he was on an airplane to his new job. Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown. He remembered his shoes. "They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonderif the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see." He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop, although he was an old man by now. "Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, Ibrought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?" "Name?" the old shoemaker asked. "Smith," the man said. "I'll go and see. They may be out back." The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop and a few minutes later returned, carrying the pair of shoes. "Here we are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now but they'll probably be ready on Thursday
『贰』 急急急！ 跪求3人演出的英语短话剧，可以幽默一点，3个人的台词差不多一样多的。谢谢各位大佬了！！
3人短剧,简单有趣,每人不超过10句话,并且都是很简单的话,经理只有一句词,但是还比较有水平。由一个笑话改编。
最后结果出人意料,其实是服务生误解了顾客
C,the customer.
W,the waiter.
M,the manager.
In the restaurant.
W:What can I do for you,sir?
C:Beijing Roast Duck,Tomato and Egg Soup.That's all.
W:A moment.
W:Yours,sir.
C:Thank you.
C:Waiter.
W:Yes?Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:I'm sorry.Sir.I'll change it for you.
W:Here your soup.Sir.
C:Thank you.
C:waiter!
W:Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:Er.I'm terribly sorry.I change it in a second.
C:Sir.I'm sorry for the soup.Now is the soup.
W:OK.
C:Waiter!!
W:Sir?
C:Call your manager,please.
M:I'm sorry,sir,but what's wrong with the soup?
C:How can I have the soup without a SPOON
望点赞
『叁』 跪求１篇高中英语３人幽默情景剧剧本！５分钟左右
一年级老师教我们认识家禽动物。
老师：“有一种动物两只脚，每天早上太阳公公出来时，它都会叫你起床，而且叫到你
起床为止，是哪一种动物？”
我回答：“妈妈！”把老师笑得差点断气！
期中考试回家以后，妈妈问我考的怎么样?
我说，我就一道题没有填出来
妈妈问是什么题？
我就说：说有一道题问3乘以7得多少我当时不管三七二十一填了15。
我妈把刚喝的水喷到我爸脸上，哎....我太伟大了！
我爸爸问我学校怎么样？”父亲问，“你的女老师满意你吗？”
“啊，是的，爸爸，十分满意。”
“你怎么知道？是她亲口对你说的？”
“当然，爸爸。前天她对我说：‘要是所有的学生都象你这样，我马上就离开学校！’
这说明，我已经全学会了。”
我爸大脑马上! @#$# @! $％$#@ @
一天上数学，老师问1+1=？，我说不知道。老师叫我回去问。我问妈妈，妈妈在烧饭，
叫我滚出去。我问爸爸，爸爸再看球，大叫‘爽’。我问姐姐，姐姐在唱歌，唱到BABY。我
问哥哥，哥哥在打电话，说；我在外面等你。
第二天，老师问1+1=？我说；你给我滚出去，老师给我一个耳光，我大叫爽，老师骂我
饭桶，我反骂卑鄙。老说；滚。我说；我在外面等你。我们数学老师当场高血压又犯了，晕
倒了
『肆』 求一篇3人3分钟的英文短剧剧本，难度适中，要关于学校生活的，搞笑一点，有情节 在线等 速度 重谢
A---teacher C---student B---作弊的那个（英文不会写|||）
A:Let's have a class.Today we will take a exam.
B to C:Wow!I'm afraid that i will fail the exam!
C:oh!Don't be afraid!Believe yourself.
B:But...
A:ok!Let's start the exam!Please don't cheat in an examination!
B(自言自语):What can i do for myself?I'm afraid!
开始考试……
B（自言自语）：oh my god!What's this?I want to pass the exam,i want to C's papers,but...
B to C:Please help me !I don't know how to do this.I wangt your papers.I know you are my best friend!
C:I'm sorry.I'm your best friend but i can't do that! I think you can write down your anwser by yourself.Please believe yourself!
『伍』 急求英语3人搞笑话剧
孔雀东南飞
『陆』 英语话剧剧本 3人
强烈推荐《买花女》又名窈窕淑女，只有三个主角，分别是一个女主角，两个男主角。挺有教育意义的！我们用过，效果还蛮好的！
剧情：卖花女伊莉莎.杜利特尔，长得眉清目秀，聪明乖巧，但出身寒微，家境贫寒。她每天到街头叫卖鲜花，赚点钱补贴家用。一天，伊莉莎低俗的嗓音引起了语言学家希金斯教授的注意，教授夸口只要经过他的训练，卖花女也可以成为贵夫人。伊莉莎觉得教授说的话对她是一个机会，就主动上门请求教授训练她。教授的朋友皮克林和他打赌，如果让伊莉莎以贵夫人的身份出席6个月后将举办的大使游园会而不被人识破真相，那么皮克林愿意承担一切试验费用和伊莉莎的学费，这激起了教授的斗志，希金斯欣然接受了挑战。他是不甘示弱的，他从最基本的字母发音开始教起。希金斯是个精力旺盛和讲究科学的学者，对每一感兴趣件事都能废寝忘食。他胸怀坦荡、丝毫不怀任何恶意，但他又象孩子一样，毫不顾及他人的感情，对伊莉莎严加训练。
有一次，希金斯带伊莉莎去参加母亲的家宴时,年轻的绅士弗雷迪被伊莉莎的美貌和谈吐自若的神情深深打动,一见倾心,竟然丝毫也认不出她就是曾经在雨中向他叫卖的肮脏的卖花姑娘不。希金斯已经40多岁，还未结婚，他从来看不上年轻姑娘，可现在在生活上竟然离不开伊莉莎了。他的衣服饮食和约会安排，全凭伊莉莎照料。
然而使伊莉莎气恼的是希金斯简单粗暴的脾气。他教她温文尔雅的用语，却从不用温文尔雅的态度对待她。
6个月后，希金斯满怀信心地带伊莉莎和皮克林一起出席希腊大使举办的招待会。伊莉莎是以皮克林上校的养女的身份参加这次大使的招待会的，她全力以赴，谈笑自若，风度翩翩，光彩照人。当她出现在大家面前时，人们停止了交谈，欣赏着她令人倾倒的仪态。她的待人接物圆熟而老练，而又恰到好处，希金斯的第一个学生尼波姆克用尽看家本领与伊莉莎周旋，却被伊莉莎弄得晕头转向，失败而归，希金斯成功了。
但当回到家里后，由于希金斯无视疲惫不堪的伊莉莎的存在，而是只顾和朋友庆祝打赌的成功，伊莉莎自尊心受到了伤害，委屈之下，愤然离开了希金斯的家。她在门口遇到了痴情的弗雷迪－他每天晚上都来到伊莉莎窗下徘徊，默默地关注着伊莉莎，伊莉莎为他的痴心感动。
虽然希金斯态度暴躁，然而却是真情实意地对待伊莉莎，在伊莉莎赌气出走之后因此而十分苦闷，他到母亲家找她，两人却又吵了一架。伊莉莎表示要嫁给弗雷迪，希金斯既惊讶又生气，愤然离去。但是回家途中却又不可抑制地想起伊莉莎，当他一人在家中听着当初伊莉莎的录音时，伊莉莎回来了！她还是爱着希金斯！
『柒』 求三人表演的英语搞笑短剧,3-5分钟左右的就可以了!
Three visits to the cottage
主要人物：诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白（同时操作电脑）
旁白：
Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐） is a story from one of the Four Great
classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main
characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. Now，let’s go into the story.
第一幕
屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着，
诸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty，猪不亮扫地，送水（营养快线） 三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝） 刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙
A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）
刘：嗯？没点着
En? It dosen’t burn on.
张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟
Sorry，we can only has this.We can’t smoke in the classroom! 关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生 We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang! 张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了
Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much. 三人来到门前，石头剪子布 刘备：According to our custom？ 关羽：OK.
张飞：No problem. 刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。 刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）
刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。
诸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.
仆人：Heng!(哼) 仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。
仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好) 刘备：Can you speak English? 关羽：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak Chinese? 张飞：（紧接着）Can you speak Japanese?
历史老照片不能说的秘密慈禧军阀明末清初文革晚清
刘备：（紧接着）Spanish?
关羽：（紧接着）Congolese? 张飞：（紧接着）Egyptian? 仆人：（紧接着）Shut up! Who are you people? 刘备：(摆个pose)I’m Liubei.
关羽：(也摆个pose)I’m Guanyu.
张飞：(同样摆个pose，把关羽碰倒了)I’m Sorry. 刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。 猪不亮：你们怎么来的啊
What do you three take to come here? 张飞：骑马来的啊，做骑马状 Riding a horse ,of course. 猪不亮：那你们怎么骑马来的啊？ So,How do you riding a horse? 三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门 刘备突然明白了，“money！！” 张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台
第二幕
三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品
关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们 I think we’ll manage it this time.
张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）
What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat! 刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了 稍息。。。立正。。。（张飞关羽照做）
Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention! 刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应） You three! Be clever this time!
屋子中„„
（英文歌，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了） 诸葛亮：MY GOD！！上天你为什么这么惩罚我 My God!! Why do you punish me?!
猪不亮：老大别难过，班长杨超不也没过吗
Don’t be sad,my boss. As I know,our monitor does’t pass the examination. 诸葛亮：我的四级考试啊，开始哭．．．
What？our monitor does’t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed··· （换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门） 猪不亮：谁啊
Who’s this? 张飞：收水费的
I come here to charge the bill of electricity
（开门，三人一脸嬉笑）
刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下
We are here again,bother to notice your boss. （猪不亮四下环顾，把礼品接过来了）
（屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪） 张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语） I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart.. 关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）
Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please. 猪不亮：吟诗，见与不见。。。 （你见，或者不见我
It’s doesn’t matter if you see me or not 我就在那里
I am standing right there 不悲不喜
With no emotion 你念，或者不念我
It’s doesn’t matter if you miss me or not 情就在那里
The feeling is right there 不来不去
And it isn’t going anywhere 你爱或者不爱我
It’s doesn’t matter）
（猪不亮转身关门，站不稳）
刘：What?！！
张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧
I’m afraid some-one important of him died here. Let’s go. Maybe we should come next time. 关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮
Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does’t die„ （关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。。）
第三幕
（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐，术语） （诸葛亮又赢了） 猪不亮：老大你真NB You are the man !
诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作
Hum！That’s a piece of cake. And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s corporation to find a job after Spring Festival.
猪不亮：你想去刘备那里？？
What? You said you wanna to go to Liu Bei’s company? 诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语
En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English. 猪不亮：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了
But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago. 门铃响。。 猪不亮：说来就来了
Speak of the devil and he doth appear. （三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动） 诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧 Boss! I ached for you so much, please help me!
刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧 Be calm. Since you trust me so much, let’s go and do it! （出发。。）
诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。。那，一月多少钱啊
Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will.. I get.. from you then. 张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走） It hurts feelings when it comes to money! （猪不亮在后面拿着包袱，大喊） 猪不亮：带上我吧，（走路（小沈阳状）） Oh, Please take me away. 闭幕。。。。
『捌』 三人英语幽默搞笑小短剧
A：（生气的）谁和你是同学？
C：我们是朋友。
B：（生气的）你心里还有我这个朋友吗？
C：我们互相帮助互相关心，是应该的。并不是所有的男女关系都只能存在着爱情，友情同样可以存在的。我是你们师姐，关心你们，帮助你们也是应该的。
A：怎么，你不是要和我发展那种关系？
B：你对我没意思啊？
[《祝你一路顺风》伴奏曲响起。
C：（深情的）你们都想到哪儿去了？我们快毕业了，明天我就要走了，我走了以后，我们还是好朋友，有空要多联系啊。来，你们过来。
[A 、B慢慢走过去。
C：（拿出一本书，给A）A，这本书是我送给你的，你曾经打算要买的。来，拿去吧，作个留念吧。
[A双手接过，低着头，抚摸着书面。
C：（拿出一支钢笔，对B）B，这钢笔送给你，你曾经向我借过，还夸它挺好写的。我知道你挺喜欢书法的，拿去多多练习啊。
[B双手接过，低着头。
[稍后电铃声响起。
C：师弟，我该走了，咱们再见了！（缓缓的走开）
A：（同时，深情地）师姐再见！
B：（见C走了几步）师姐，要记得我们啊。
C的画外音：会的。
A: Who (is angry) and you is schoolmate?
C: We are the friend.
B: (Is angry) in your heart also to have my this friend?
C: We help to care about mutually mutually, is should.Is not all sexual relations all only can have love, the friendship may exist similarly.I am your female apprentice, cares about you, helps you also is should.
A: How, aren't you must develop that kind of relations with me?
B: You do not have the meaning to me?
["Wishes Your Bon Voyage" the partner to play a tune resounds.
C: (Affection) you all thought where went? We have graated quickly, I will have to walk tomorrow, I walked after, our good friend, had free time wants to relate.Comes, you come.
[A, B walk slowly.
C: (Puts out a book, for A) A, this book is I gives you, you once planned had to buy.Comes, to take away, makes to accept as a memento.
[A both hands received, lower the head, are stroking written.
C: (Puts out a fountain pen, to B) B, this fountain pen gave you, you has borrowed to me, but also very well praised it to write.I knew you very like the calligraphy, takes away very much practices.
[B both hands received, lower the head.
[Later the electric bell sound gets up.
C: The fellow, I should walk, we goodbye! (Slowly gets out of the way)
A: (At the same time, affectionately) female apprentice goodbye!
B: (Saw C to walk several steps) the female apprentice, had to remember us.
C offscreen voice: Meeting.
『玖』 谁能提供一个3人 5分钟左右的幽默英语话剧啊
最好根据一些英文的小故事编排成话剧.至少我是这么做的~~~~
我上会演小红帽,就是自己编排的~~
嘻嘻~~~~~~
一定要给我加分哦~~~~
『拾』 急求3人搞笑英语情景剧剧本 9到10分钟
生活大爆炸 the big bang theory 中有很多适合的部分