① 急求搞笑英语话剧剧本

流亡者说:"不管你是谁,请可怜一下被通缉的人吧,他们正在悬赏捉我呢!"
山里人说:"悬赏多少?"

② 搞笑英语话剧剧本

孔雀东南飞
wander severy five miles

焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)强盗burglars(a&b)

prologue
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)

j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my
wife is wusong.

(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!

(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头) My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i don’t care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
my god! who can help me?(下)

act1
(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)
jm(拄拐棍上):(对门内)Lunch! Lunch! where are you?
l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?

jm:since you married my son you have behaved so badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy……
l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing！ i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken
and……
jm:but all those you have done aren’t as valuable as a grandson!
l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)

act2
(l拿着锅铲拨电话)
嘟嘟嘟嘟……
l:Hello,Is that mum!？
lm:Yes,honey,what happened?
l:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
Lm（大声啊大声）:see! when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen to me！
l：but,mum……
lm:never interrupt me!
l:i’m not interrupting you！i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? And i’ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter
haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go
and tell him.（挂电话）
l(握着电话，惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅
铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)

act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are my socks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly!
(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’s Lunch?
j:mum, can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl,go and take her back!
j(立正敬礼):yes madam!

act4
(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
a:（伸手拦路）stop!
the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上，但踩到了a的脚，a抱脚跳做痛苦状)
b:if you want to go by this street---
a、b:give us all your money!
j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角纸币):is 1mao enough?
(2强盗晕倒状，接着聚在一边商量)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot rob any money today,we will have no thing to eat tonight!
a:Hey,i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulan next week.we can go and rob the wedding!
b:good idea!
j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!
a&b:why?
j:Lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)Oh!you are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? i’ll go with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)

act5
(转眼已到婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，l盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(j和三强盗跃至台中)
ab&j:Stop!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
j:if you want to go by this street---
ab&j:give us all your money!
(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)
l(惊喜万分):johnny!(飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)
j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去）
(j与ms混战，操起锅铲击晕ms，将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you?
l(哭状):i hurt a lot!
j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
l(起身去追):wai……wait for me! (跑下)

END

③ 求英语话剧的剧本（最好能是搞笑型的）

绝对是搞笑英语剧本:
Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company. This day they are talking in the office.
Ca: Bingo! I finally finish this case. It is really tough! I have not slept well for almost a week.

Wing: Me too .I always get so busy in this season. I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.
Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much. What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case?
Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.
Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!
Ca: You are right. Let’s pig out on junk food!
Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown. I miss German food!
Ca: so do I .how much I love French food!
Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before. Do you have any recommendation?
Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.
Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checse
Ci: They all sound yummy. But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families?
Wing&Ca: No
Ci: The answer is mplings!
Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted .
Wing: Can you make mplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for mplings for a long time.
Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me .what about coming to my house tonight? We can make mplings together. I will teach you how to cook it.
Ca: Great! That is fantastic. Then it will be the first time to make and eat mplings
Wing: Very good idea! We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.
Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.
(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)

CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”
Ca: sure, here you are .what s next?
Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together .be careful ,don’t add too much water.
Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softer
Wing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it .shall I blend them?
CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well. A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.

(an hour later)

Ca: Yes, the mplings are prepared .lets start!
CiCi: Wait! I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these?
Ca: Wow! Cheese! Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.
Wing: God. Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!
CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.
Ca: So it is a complete big meal.
Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life. Let’s cheers!
Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!

④ 求一个搞笑英语话剧剧本（6人）

您好：
校园搞笑版话剧剧本：
地点：学校教室
人物：老师、学生
1、学生
2 背景：教室，上课时，学生与老师的对话与问答
情节：
扮老师的人上：
今天我们来复习古诗词中的名言名名，
我准备采用老师提问的方式开始
今天的学习。由我提问学生们，我说出诗的上句，同学们回答出下一句，好不好。
学生异口同声：好！
老师：人生自古谁无死。
学生：人生自古谁无屎，有谁大便不用纸。
老师：
（生气的）是那个学生，说出这样的不道德的话啊，给我站起来！
学生：
（站起来）是我）
老师：
（很生气）你这样捣乱，这节课你给我站着上。我们必须完成这个任务，否则别
想过关。从来！
师：人生自古谁无死。
学生：人生自古谁无屎，有谁大便不用纸。若君不用卫生纸，除非你用大拇指。
老师：
（怒不可遏）谁啊，胡说八道啊！我再提问一句，你们来接下一句，如果回答正
确我就不惩罚你们。
（这时，老师看见窗外，想了下，想起冬天会下雪，就提问一句）
老师：上天下雪不下雨，雪到地上变成雨。变成雨时多麻烦，为何当初不下雨。
（小明站起来回答道)
小明：老师吃饭不吃屎，饭到肚里变成屎。变成屎时多麻烦，为何当初不吃屎。
(就这样老师当场就想惩罚小明！手发抖,脸还装着笑要羞怒小明.....)
老师：河水往哪里流啊？
小明：大河向东流啊！
老师：天上有多少颗星星阿？
小明：天上的星星参北斗阿！
老师：你给我滚出去！
小明：说走咱就走阿！
(老师很无奈.....)
老师：你有病吧？
小明：你有我有全都有阿！
老师：你再唱一句试试！
学生：路见不平一生吼阿！
老师：你信不信我要扁你？
学生：该出手时就出手阿！
(老师真的忍无可忍气的没有话说）
老师：我让你退学！
学生：风风火火闯九洲阿！ (哈哈.....
全班学生都轰动起来，老师走出了教室
生：风风火火闯九洲阿！ (哈哈......全班学生都轰动起来，老师走出了教室......）
希望以上信息可以帮到您，也欢迎登陆中票在线官网查询你喜欢明星的演出资讯：http://www.chinaticket.com ：－D

⑤ 急求一份英语超级搞笑话剧剧本 要搞笑

大话西游（英文话剧）

A Tale of The Journey To The West

Once there was true love for me, but I did not treasure it. Now it’s too late to regret. Nothing in the world can be more painful than that. If only time could go back, if only God could give me one more chance, I would say to the girl: “I love you.” If you dare ask me how long my love will last, my answer will be at least 10,000 years.

孙悟空 Monkey ( M for short ) 白骨精 Jenny White ( J for short )

唐僧 Tang Seng ( T for short ) 黄袍怪 Yellow ( Y for short )

沙僧 Sha Seng ( S for short ) 猪八戒 Piggy ( P for short )

观音 Guan Yin ( G for short ) 小妖 Mini Monster ( A B C D )

Act 1

J 照着镜子上台，后面跟着一个小妖B手捧一盒化装品，如Clean &Clear等

J: Another pimple!

All these lotion and cream and gel are of no use. What can I do?

这时4，电话铃不知趣地响了起来，J不耐烦地从B手中接过听筒，于是，一个更另她心烦的声音就在电话那头响起。

Y: Hello! It’s me.

J: I know it’s you. You’ve been calling me every day since 400 years ago.

Y: And today, I’ll ask the same question again. This is the 99th time I ask you to marry me.

⑥ 英语搞笑情景剧剧本

道具、2辆自行车，一只打气筒，一个粗布小袋和几张小纸币，一小节气嘴皮管。剧情如下：一人带一人（此人手拿打气筒）骑车，同时唱着英语歌上，车后轮气不要太足，尽量瘪点，模仿上坡骑不动了，下车检查明白了，动作尽可能滑稽些，幅度一定要大，（英语台词自编）打气，完毕，取下气嘴，气门漏气，检查是小皮老化炀了，粘在手上甩不掉，用另一只手取下又粘在另一手上还是甩不掉，摊手示意无奈，此时另一组人（尽可能穷酸老土又小气相）骑一破车带人上，前组看到做喜出望外状，示意停下求其帮助，后组一人张大嘴巴瞪大眼睛看前组的靓车（注意动作一定要滑稽）向同伴示意前组是有钱人，明白前组求助之意后，后组退一边示意敲诈点钱，然后一人向前组频频点头示有小皮管，掏布袋取物，小纸币掉落（最好用风扇幕后吹风）做追抓捡钱状（小硬币也可）追抓滚动小硬币。然后取出小皮管，也可再掉落一次小钱追抓。将小皮管交前组人，在前组人伸手时迅速收手示意要钱，前组人拿2元钱，后组罢手示意嫌少，前组出5元，后组继续罢手，前组犹豫一下，出示10元，遭罢手...直至50元，后组大嘴大眼点头伸手接钱，做透光验真假，朝钱弹手指，将小皮管拿给前组，当前组接物时又迅速缩回，到破车取下气门芯，取下旧皮管交前组，前组一声叹息，摇头并无奈接过装上车打气，此时后组得意并看钱，前组打气毕欲上车走，后组突然意识自己车需打气，赶快叫住前组，示意借用打气筒，前组犹豫片刻，点头示行，不过，示意打一下10元钱，经讨价还价以5元一下成交，数后20下打好气，后组付不起钱，经前组教育并认错，后和好并一起上路。（就此意思，可自己再完善）初次预想，拿不出手请见笑了。

⑦ 6人搞笑英语话剧剧本

阿甘正传的片断

FORREST (voice-over) That Momma, she sure was right.
It's funny how things work out.
EXT. BAYOU LA BATRE/BUBBA'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY
Forrest walks up to a shack on the edge of the Bayou. A group of black kids play in the front yard.
FORREST (voice-over)
I didn't stay home for long, because I'd made a
promise to Bubba. And I always try to keep my promise.
So I went on down to Bayou La Batre to meet Bubba's
family and make their introction.
Bubba's mother named MRS. BLUE and her other children look at Forrest.
MRS. BLUE Are you crazy, or just plain stupid?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, Mrs. Blue.
MRS. BLUE I guess.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE - DAY
Forrest steps over to Bubba's tombstone.
FORREST (voice-over)
And of course, I paid my respect to Bubba himself.
FORREST Hey, Bubba, it's me, Forrest Gump. I remember
everything you said, and I got it all figured out.
Forrest pulls out notes from his pocket.
FORREST I'm taking the twenty-four thousand, five hundred
and six-two dollars and forty-seven cents that I got...
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest walks across a yard where men are cleaning shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
... well, that's left after a new hair cut and a
new suit and I took Momma out to real fancy dinner
and I bought a bus ticket and three Doctor Peppers.
Forrest walks along a wooden pier. Forrest pays an old black shrimper a large wad of cash.
OLD SHRIMPER Tell me something. Are you stupid or something?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, sir.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE
Forrest stands at the grave.
FORREST Well, that's what's left after me saying, "When I was
in China on the All-America Ping-Pong Team, I just
loved playing ping-pong with my Flex-O-Ping-Pong Paddle."
Which everybody knows it isn't true, but Momma says
it's just a little white lie so it wouldn't hurt nobody.
So, anyway, I'm putting all that on gas, ropes and new
nets and a brand-new shrimpin' boat.
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest steers his shrimping boat. The boat is old and rusty. Forrest unleashes his nets as his catch of the day drops to the deck. It is a bunch of garbage and shells. Forrest picks up one shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
Now, Bubba had told me everything he knows about shrimpin',
but you know what I found out? Shrimpin' is tough.
EXT. DOCKS
Forrest pulls a couple of shrimp out of a bucket.
FORREST I only caught five.
OLD SHRIMPER A couple of more, you can have yourself a cocktail.
The old shrimper begins to walk away, then stops and looks at Forrest.
OLD SHRIMPER Hey, you ever think about namin' this old boat?
FORREST (voice-over) I'd never named a boat before,
but there was only one I could think of.
Forrest paints a name on the side of his boat. The name is "Jenny."
FORREST (voice-over)
The most beautiful name in the wide world.

⑧ 求一个搞笑的英语话剧剧本，最好有中英文对照。

是谁把10086服务小姐逼成这样的？？？？10086服务台小姐：先生晚上好，请问有什么可以帮你的吗？ 外轨：shouji没电了，自动关机了，请问现在几点了？ 10086服务台小姐：（晕）那先生您怎么给我打的。 外轨：我的shouji自动关机一样可以拨打dianhua，只是看不到时间。。 10086服务台小姐：（晕）先生现在是凌晨2点25分？请问还有什么可以帮你的吗？ 外轨：哦 ！这么晚了你怎么还不睡觉. 10086服务台小姐：（晕）对不起先生，这是我的工作，请问你还有什么事吗？ 外轨：没事就不可以打dianhua了吗？ 10086服务台小姐：对不起先生，我不是这个意思。 外轨：为什么给你们打dianhua是免费的？为什么给其他人打dianhua是收费的？ 10086服务台小姐：先生。。这是我们对顾客的一种高质量服务，我们本着顾客是上帝的宗旨，所以打我们客服dianhua是不需要收费的. 外轨：那上帝饿了.我把我家地址给你.你来我家给我做点吃的好不好.. 10086服务台小姐：先生对不起，我们没有这项服务。 外轨：你们对上帝的服务还挑三拣四吗？ 10086服务台小姐：先生对不起，我们只对客户提出的业务方面问题所做解答。请问现在还有什
么问题吗？ 外轨：我不是不讲理的人。这样你回答我3个问题，回答正确我就不纠缠你了。。 10086服务台小姐：（**）请您讲。 外轨：第一。万里长征一共走了多少里。 10086服务台小姐：2万5千里吧。 外轨：第二，参加人数多少人。 10086服务台小姐：8万6千人吧。 外轨：还懂点历史，最后一个问题，他们都叫什么名字？ 10086服务台小姐：................................................. 外轨：拒绝回答上帝的问题，我会投诉你的。 10086服务台小姐：对不起先生，我真的不知道。 外轨：这么简单的问题都回答不上来，你对工作的态度很不认真，而且还有抵触情绪。 10086服务台小姐：（哭）这。。这。。这个简单吗？这样吧先生。我也给你出3个问题，不知道有兴趣回答下吗？ 外轨：说来听听。 10086服务台小姐：2008年奥运会是在什么地方举行的！ 外轨：北京，下一个问题。 10086服务台小姐：那请问先生开幕式是几月几号？ 外轨：8月8号。如果下一个问题你敢问我开幕式时看台上所有人的姓名，我还会投诉你。 10086服务台小姐：（狂哭）先生把你的地址给我吧，我去给你做饭。。。。。。。。。 .////////