英语搞笑短剧4人三分钟
The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威）
Tiger: I’m a great tiger. I’m very athletic. I’m very brave. I’m the king of the forest.But now I’m very hungry. I must find a little food. Oh, there’s nothing here. Oh, I’m very hungry. (Sleep soundly)
老虎： 我是一只伟大的老虎。 我非常强壮。 我是非常勇敢的。 我是森林的国王。但现在我非常饿。 我必须发现些食物。噢，我好饿。 (酣然昏眠)
Fox: I’m a fox. You can see, I’m pretty and lovely. I’m good at cheating and telling lies. Just now I cheated a crew out of a piece of meat. Mm, Mm, Mm. How delicious it is!
狐狸： 我是狐狸。 您能看，我是俏丽和可爱的。 我是擅长于欺诈0and告诉谎言。 我刚才欺诈了乘员组在肉片外面。 毫米，毫米，毫米。 多么可口它是!
Tiger: Ah, a fox. A good meal. Ah, a good meal.
老虎：Ah，一只狐狸。 一顿好午餐。 Ah，一顿好午餐。
Fox: Oh, my God! What should I do? Yes, I have a good idea. Yes, a good idea. Hello! Tiger sister! How are you?
狐狸： 噢，我的上帝! 我该怎么办? 是，我有一个好想法。 是，一个好想法。 你好! 老虎姐妹! 你好吗?
Tiger: Not so good. I’m very hungry now. I want to eat you.
老虎： 不那么好。 我现在非常饿。 我想要吃您。
Fox: Oh, my dear! I’m the king of the forest! You can not eat me
狐狸： 噢，我亲爱！我是森林的国王！你不能吃我！
（老虎装作疑惑）
Fox: If you don’t believe me, just follow me and see who is the king of the forest.
狐狸： 如果您不相信我，正义跟我学和看见谁是森林的国王。
Tiger: Ok. Let’s go.
老虎： 好。 我们去。
Rabbit: I’m a rabbit. I like to eat a Carrot. Ah, a big Carrot.
兔子： 我是兔子。 我喜欢吃胡萝卜。Ah，一个大胡萝卜。
Bird: I’m a bird.
鸟： 我是鸟。
Rabbit: Hi!
兔子： 喂!
Bird: Hi! What are you doing, Miss Rabbit? Can I help you?
鸟： 喂! 什么这里做着， Rabbit小姐？ 我可以帮助您？
Rabbit: Yes, please.
兔子： 是，请。
Frog: I’m a frog. Hello! What are you doing? What can I do for you?
青蛙： 我是青蛙。 你好! 您这里做着什么？ 我可以为您做什么？
Rabbit: Yes, come on!
兔子： 是，来吧!
Frog : Ok! I’m coming!
青蛙： 好! 我来拉!
Fox: Hello, Frog!
狐狸： 你好，青蛙!
Frog: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
青蛙： 喂，狐狸。 噢，老虎! (跑掉)
Fox: Hello, Bird!
狐狸： 你好，鸟!
Bird: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
鸟： 喂，狐狸。 噢，老虎! (跑掉)
Fox: Hello, Rabbit!
狐狸： 你好，兔子!
Rabbit: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
兔子： 喂，狐狸。 噢，老虎! (跑掉)
Fox: Tiger, Now, you see. I’m very athletic.! They all run away!
狐狸： 老虎，现在，您看见。 我太强大了! 他们全都跑掉!
Tiger: Yes, you are right. I’m very sorry. That’s all right.you are the king.
老虎： 是，您正确。 我非常抱歉。这是对的，你是国王。
Fox: Wa! There is a big Carrot. Now, the Carrot belongs to me.
狐狸： Wa! 有一个大胡萝卜。 现在，胡萝卜属于我。
❷ 有创意的英语小短剧，4个人 3分钟左右
SNOW WHITE CONTENTS
SW---白雪公主 Q---皇后 M---魔镜 H---猎人
P---白马王子 D---小矮人 A---小动物
音乐起，旁白
A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn’t love the new queen, because she was cruel.
One day, In the king’s palace:
----白雪出场
S.w: My name is S.w , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother? Where is my mother?
音乐起，皇后、魔镜出场
Q: I am a queen, I’m very beautiful,Where is Mirror?
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the most beautiful?
M: S.w is much more beautiful than you!
Q: Hunter, go kill S.w.
猎人出场
H: Yes, my queen
音乐起，小动物出场，追赶猎人，公主惊慌出逃
S.w: Help me ,help me, please, please
A: what’s the matter with you?
S.w: The hunter…hunter…
A: bite you bite you …
小动物追赶猎人下场
S.w: I am tired and hungry, oh, there is a little house ,
I will eat a little and lie down.
音乐起，7个小矮人出场，
D: 1\Look, somebody ate my food----
2\somebody drank my water----
3\someone is sleeping now----
4\What a beautiful girl!----
小矮人睡觉----音乐起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----对话
5\How do you do?
S.w: How do you do? My name is S.w …
Nice to meet you!
D: （齐说）Nice to meet you ,too----
6\ welcome to our house!----
7\Would you like to live here?
S.w: My pleasure, thank you very much!
D: Let’s go out for our work, bye-bye, S.W
皇后、魔镜出场
Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who’s the most beautiful?
M: S.w is much more beautiful than you!
Q: What? S.w is not dead?
Hahaha, I got a good idea!
音乐起，皇后扮演老太太出场，对话
Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple,
S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma!
Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite?
S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma!
白雪公主咬一口后倒地
Q: The girl is dead! Hahaha…
小矮人出场、围着公主哭
S.w wake up, wake up…
音乐起，动物引着王子出场
P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my queen!
王子吻公主，公主醒了
S.w: Thank you for your help!
P: My pleasure
音乐起，小动物、小矮人、公主、王子跳起欢快的舞 21
❸ 急！！！！！！！！搞笑英语剧本，3-4人，5分钟左右
《孔雀东南飞》
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.-in-law,what’sup?
JM:.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.
and……
JM:!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.?And
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下)Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone..
JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo
withyou..
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine.(下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme!(跑下)
(音乐起CanYouCelebrate)
❹ 英语4人搞笑小话剧
焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)
刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)
刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)
强盗burglars(abandc)
prologue 序幕
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)
j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my
wife is wusong.
译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。
(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!
译：我才不怕你呢！
(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
my god! who can help me?(下)
译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？
act1 第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)
jm(拄拐棍上):i can!
(对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you?
l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken
and……
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)
act2
(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)
l:mum, i’m back!
lm:you are back?why?what happened?
l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on
marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen
to me. look at yourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:never interrupt me!
l:mum,i’m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and
i’ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter
haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go
and tell him.(下)
l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅
铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)
act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now
she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?
j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice
girl,go and take her back!
j(立正敬礼):yes madam!
act4
(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)
ab&c:give us all your money!
j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulan next month.we can go and
rob the wedding!
a&b:good idea!
j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!
ab&c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(j和三强盗跃至台中)
abc&j:hey you! stop and listen to us!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
c:if you want to go by this street---
j:give us all your money!
(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)
l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)
j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去）
(j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)
(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you?
l(哭状):i hurt a lot!
j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)
美国情景剧《成长的烦恼》，有空可以到普特英语网下载，www.putclub.com
人物：Tom，Jack 和 forune teller！
镜头一:
Jack：Tom，who do you think the man with a yellow straw hat on the stool in front of the palm trees？
Tom：I guess he must be a fortune teller.
Jack：Are you sure?
Tom：Yes,without a doubt. You see he is looking forward to talking to someone.
Jack：Maybe you are right. But Tom, can you read the palm?
Tom：Yes, I have read a lot of books about reading the palm.May I read your palm?
Jack: Yes,I’d love to. But I want to make fun of him.It is very funny.
镜头二:
(They pass through the sidewalk and walk to the fortune teller)
这个时候，Tom马上变换角色,去扮演算命师傅.对白精彩在这了.
Jack: Hi, my name is Jacke? Would you please read my palm?
Fortune teller: Yes,welcome to here. Sit down please. Give me your left hand.
Jack:But.I had a bad car accident last year.I lost my left arm. Nowadays , I do everything with my right hand. Life with one arm is very difficult.
Fortune teller: Are you kidding me?
Jack: No. I am serious. I hope you guess what I want to know.
Fortune teller: Now,please give your right hand. Let me see…..You must be between jobs. Your wish is to become a millionaire. But You do not know what to do.Let me tell you.
Jack:You are wrong. I am not poor. Though I am not a
million, I have a company, a flat,a car and 80,000 dollars.
Fortune teller: Oh, I know. Your girlfriend must have left you. You have lots of shortcomings. Maybe you don’t make the bed. Maybe you don’t clean the dishes. Maybe you are always in a bad mood. You must be as stubborn as a mule. If I were you, I would make a apology to her at first.
Jack: No,many girls like me. I have you guess the last chance.If you are wrong again, I won’t pay you money.
Fortune teller:You are up to monkey business.If I knew it, I would not read your palm.
Jack: You are right. You guess the answer is right.But it was too late.I hope you guess if I can pay you money.
2--Do you know much about computers?
--Not a great deal.
--I've just been reading an article about them.
They are used for all sorts of things now.
--For accounting systems and things you mean?
--Yes, but they're used for other things too. Do
you remember when we went to buy our tickets for
the flight to Greece?
--Yes.
--The man asked where we wanted to go, then he
typed out the information on a form and waited
for a reply. A few moments later he gave us our
tickets.
--Of course. His machine must have been connected
to a computer.
--That's right.
3关于不同爱好的对话.
Michael: hi, Charles, how are you?
Charles: fine. Thanks. You look great.
Michael: thank you. You know what? I took tennis classes recently and I find myself so crazy about it. I feel so energetic after playing tennis. Do you play tennis?
Charles: No. I don’t. I play football. Tennis is not as exciting as football.
Michael: Charlie, I am afraid I can’t agree with you at this point. It is much easier to find one tennis partner rather than finding a whole bunch of people to play football.
Charlie: well, don’t you think more people are more exciting? Playing tennis is like playing a ping pong game. Just playing back and forth. It’s a kind of boring.
Michael: Noooooooo! When you play tennis, you can keep fit and you don’t get hurt. There is too much body contact in playing football. I don’t want to be pushed, be stepped, be knocked down or……
Charles: that’s the best part of the game.
Michael: Sorry. I can’t talk to you now. I have to go to my tennis club now. My partner is waiting for me there.
Charles: ok. I have to call my buddies about our football match this afternoon. Bye!
Michael: bye!
4纯属原创，大家都是过来人，知道你的难处。还望笑纳。
(最后有点搞笑的成分)
人物：Rose, I(named Jack).
Rose: Hi, Jack.
Jack: Hi, Rose.
Rose: Long time no see, how are you doing?
Jack: I'm doing terribly bad. And how about you?
Rose: I'm fine, thank you. But you, what's up?
Jack: I just cannot find a agreeable job. The salary offered by those companies are really too low. I've had interview several companies, and they all felt satified to my performance, but when
hearing my salary request, they all could not offer.
Rose: Almost the same with my situation. The current job market is so stagnant. I'd have to adapt myself to the reality.
Jack: I cannot agree with you more. But you know, the salary they offered could even hardly afford my daily consumption.I just feel that's gotdamn crazy.
Rose: Hey, Jack, come on. Do you know the current situation of job market? There will be nearly 5 million college graates nationwide, inclusive of a lot of masters. For my own sake, I gave up my baseline at last. Today, I've just signed a job contract with XX(公司名).
Jack: You're really appreciated to remind me. I gotta find a job as soon as possible even with a pretty low salary.
Rose: Cheer up, Jack. I don't think it matters to start with a low salary. You know, gold will shine everywhere. I believe you can get a decent job within 3 years as long as you're hard enough.
Jack: Thank you very much for your encouragement. Let us make a brilliant future hand in hand...
Rose: Hey，Jack. Don这有英语对话，你自己看!http://bookmark.hexun.com/weixiang1015/detailframe.aspx?bid=1435032
't touch me...
❺ 4人英语搞笑短剧
（一） A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" （二） Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"! （三） Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!! My Baby Swallowed a Bullet Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ? Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
❻ 英语搞笑短剧，三四个人左右，别太难，要搞笑的！！五分钟左右，100分三日速求！！！
Scared sleeping
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever
come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."
"Is that so! How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"
(内容大意：去看心理医生。
他说：医生，我感到很困扰。当我睡在床上时，总觉得有人在床下。当我在床下时，又觉得有人在床上。来回很多次。你一定要帮我，我就快要疯掉了。
医生：尽管将你交给我两年，每星期来三次。我就会治好你的恐惧。
他问：你收多少钱？
医生：每次＄100
他说：我会考虑一下
六个月后，医生在街上遇见Shakey。
医生就问：为甚麼你没有再来找我？
他说：你看一次要＄100？一个酒吧服务生给我治疗只收＄10。
医生：这样！他怎麼治你？
他说：他叫我切掉床的脚。）
↑
人物只有两个
你可以到这里找一个你喜欢的http://www.ahajokes.com/
❼ 4人英语话剧剧本，三分钟左右
Mon.：Tomorrow will be Christmas. But Della feels very sad. Because she has no money to buy a present for her husband , Jim . She has only one dollar and eighty-seven cents . They have only 20 dollars a week, it doesn’t leave much for saving.In fact, Della and Jim have two possessions in which they both take very great pride. One is Jim’s gold watch, which has been his father’s and his grandfather’s. The other is Della’s long beautiful hair.D: Life is so hard for me. Though I saved the money for many months , I still have only one dollar and eighty seven cents.D: I—- I—- I have to have my hair cut and sold it . In that way I can get some money and I can buy a beautiful present for Jim.(At the shop—“ Sofronie. We Buy Hair Goods of All Kinds”)D: Will you buy my hair?M: Yes, I buy all kinds of hair. Sit down, please. Take your hat off and let me have a look. Oh, very beautiful. Very good! Twenty dollars , OK?D: All right. But please give it to me quickly.M: Here you are. Twenty dollars.D: Thank you. Bye.M: Bye.Mon.：Della spent two hours in the streets. Then she stopped at a Gold Shop and bought a gold watch chain. Now ,Della is at home.D: Oh, what a beautiful gold watch chain. I think it must match Jim’s watch. When he sees it he must be very happy .(Suddenly the door opened and in came Jim . )J: You—–?D: Jim. Don’t look at me that way. I had my hair cut off and sold it because I couldn’t have lived through Christmas without giving you a present. Jim, it will grow quickly. You don’t mind, do you ? I just had to do it. My hair grows very fast, you know. Say “Merry Christmas!” Jim, and let’s be happy.J: You’ve cut off your hair?D: I’ve cut it off and sold it. It’s sold. I tell you -sold and gone, too. It’s Christmas Eve , Jim. Be good to me, for it went for you.J: Well , Della. Don’t make any mistake about me. I don’t think there’s anything about a hair cut that could make me love you any less. I know, it went for me. Look at this package .D: What ?J: Look at it yourself. You ‘ll see.D:Ah! The combs. They were in the shop windows for many months!J:Yes, the beautiful combs, pure tortoiseshell, with jewelry rims–just the color to wear in your beautiful, hair.D: But , Jim. They are expensive combs. I know, my heart had longed for them without the least hope of possession. Now they are mine. Thank you Jim.J; Now, you will see why I was upset at first.D: Jim, you don’t know what a nice –what a beautiful , nice gift I’ve got for you. Can you guess?J: I’m sorry. I won’t guess.D: Look. A gold watch chain. Isn’t it lovely ,Jim? I hunted all over the town to find it. You’ll have to look at the time a hundred times a day now. Give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on it .J: Della, Let’s put our Christmas gifts away and keep them a while. They’re too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money. And I bought the combs. Now, Let’s have our supper.礼 物旁白：明天是圣诞节，但是德拉觉得很难过，因为她无钱为她丈夫吉姆买一圣诞礼物，她只有1.87美元，他们一个月只有20美元的收入，那很难再从中省钱了。事实上，德拉和吉姆有两件让他们引以为豪的宝贝，一件是吉姆的金表，那是从他祖父和父亲那里留传下来的，还有一件是德拉那一头棕发，又长又美丽。德拉：生活对我来说很困难，虽然我很多个月以前就开始存钱了，我仍然只有1.87美元。德拉：我……我……我不得不剪了头发去卖掉，那样我就能得到一些钱去买礼物给吉姆了。（在店门口，写着“夫人：我们买各种各样的头发”）德拉：你买我的头发吗？夫人：是的，我们买各式的头发，把你的帽子脱下来，让我看一下你的头发。哦，很美的头发，很好的发质，20美元，行不行？德拉：好的，但是请你快点把钱给我。夫人：给你，20美元。德拉：谢谢你，再见。夫人：再见。旁白：德拉在街上逛了2个小时，然后她在一家金店止步，进去买了一条金表链。现在德拉正在家里。德拉：哦，多么漂亮的金链子，我想那一定跟吉姆的手表很配，当他看到它的时候，一定会很高兴的。（突然门打开了，吉姆走了进来）吉姆：你……？德拉：吉姆，不要那样看着我，我剪了我的头发并卖了，因为我无法度过一个我不送你圣诞节礼物的圣诞节，吉姆，它会长得很快的，你不会介意的，是不是？我必须这么做，我的头发长得很快的，这你是知道的，说：“圣诞快乐！”，吉姆，让我们高兴起来。吉姆：你剪了你的头发？德拉：我剪了头发并卖了，它被卖掉了，我跟你说它被卖掉了，没有了！现在是圣诞节前夜，对我好一点，吉姆，那都是为了你。吉姆：哦，德拉，别误会我，我想我不会因为你剪了头发而对你的爱就减少了，我知道，那是为了我，看看这个包裹。德拉：什么？吉姆：你自己看吧！你会明白的。德拉：啊，是梳子！它们就是几个月前陈列在橱窗里的那套。吉姆：是的，那套漂亮的梳子，镶珠宝的，那颜色正好配你的发色。德拉：但是，吉姆，那些都是很贵的，我知道，我一直渴望但却没有丝毫的奢望拥有它。现在，它们是我的了，谢谢你，吉姆。吉姆：现在，你知道我为什么一开始就那么悲伤了吧。德拉：吉姆，我给你买了一件又美丽又好的礼物，你能猜出来吗？吉姆：对不起，我不想猜。德拉：看，一条金表链，吉姆，它是不是很可爱？我找遍了整个城才找的，你从现在起可得一天要看一百次时间了。把你的表给我，我想看一下表链装在表上的样子。吉姆：德拉，让我们把圣诞礼物收起来珍藏一段时间，它们太好了，但我们现在用不着，我把表卖了。得到了钱才买了这梳子。现在让我们吃晚饭吧Tags: 4人剧本, 反映生活, 趣味剧本
❽ 英语搞笑短剧，2-3分钟，4个人演，最好配上译文
这个是要靠自己的..............
❾ 幽默四人英语小短剧
小剧本-----小红帽
Little Red Riding Hood
第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家
Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的水果放在篮子里）
Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?
Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma.
Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!
Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful.
Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.
Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.
第二场：在路上
(一阵轻快的音乐由远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)
Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers.
Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)
Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill.
Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby cks.
Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞)
Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）
Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby cks，how are you?
Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going?
Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye.
Six Ducks：Goodbye．
第三场：Grandma家
Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）
Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’ s house? (高兴地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang．
Grandma： Who is it？
Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood.
Grandma： (边说边起床) Come in, come in.
Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you.
Grandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上）
灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。
Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy！I’ll sleep.
Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandma．Grandma．
Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it？
Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise!
Wolf：Come in， Come in.
Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears!
Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.
Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes!
Wolf：I can see you pretty face.
Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand.
Wolf：I can hug you.
Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big hands?
Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you!
Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！No! No!
Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子说）It’s delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping.
Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推门)The wolf is sleeping.
Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声)
Hunter： (端起枪想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry．(从桌子上拿起剪刀，举起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut.
Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank you．
Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones．
Grandma： (从桌子上拿来针线)
Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石头)One, two, three.
Hunter： (把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里)
Grandma： I'll thread it.
Hunter： (拿起枪)Woke up!
Wolf：(起床，两手托着大肚子)My stomach is so heavy.
Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms!
Wolf：(边跑边说) Help! Don’t shot me!
Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang!
Wolf： (应声倒下)
Hunter： The bad wolf is dead．
Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：Yeah! Thank you．
Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you
英语短剧：The Fox and the Tiger（狐假虎威）
T---Tiger F---Fox R---Rabbit B---Bird Fr---Frog B----Bear
Tiger: I’m a great tiger. I’m very strong. I’m very brave. I’m the king of the forest.But now I’m very hungry. I must find sth. to eat at once, or I’ll die immediately. Oh, there’s nothing here. And here is nothing, either. Oh, I want to have a rest. (Sleep soundly)
Fox: I’m a fox. You can see, I’m pretty and lovely. I’m good at cheating 0and telling lies. Just now I cheated a crew out of a piece of meat. Mm, Mm, Mm. How delicious it is!
Tiger: Ah, a fox. A good meal. Ah, a good meal.
Fox: Oh, my God! What should I do? Yes, I have a good idea. Yes, a good idea. Hello! Tiger sister! How are you?
Tiger: Not so good. I’m very hungry now. I want to eat you.
Fox: Oh, my dear! How dare you say that! I’m the king of the forest! I’m the king of the forest! If you want to eat me, I will let you die right now.
Tiger: She is the king. She is cheating me. I can’t belive her. I’m the king of the forest here.
Fox: If you don’t believe me, just follow me and see who is the king of the forest.
Tiger: Ok. Let’s go.
Rabbit: I’m a rabbit. I like to eat a turnip. Ah, a big turnip. Oh! It’s too hard. I can’t pull it out.
Bird: I’m a bird.
Rabbit: Hi!
Bird: Hi! What are doing here, Miss Rabbit? Can I help you?
Rabbit: Yes, please.
Frog: I’m a frog. Hello! What are you doing here? What can I do for you?
R&B: Yes, come on!
Frog : Ok! I’m coming!
Bear: I’m a big brown bear. Hello, everyone! What are you doing here?
R,B&F: Come on! Come on! Mr. Bear! You are so strong. Please come here. There is a big turnip. We are all puling it out. Please come and help us.
Bear: Ok! I’m coming.
Fox: Hello, Bear!
Bear: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
Fox: Hello, Frog!
Frog: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
Fox: Hello, Bird!
Bird: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
Fox: Hello, Rabbit!
Rabbit: Hi, Fox. Oh, a tiger! (run away)
Fox: Tiger, Now, you see. They are so frightened! They all run away!
Tiger: Yes, you are right. It’s true. I’m very sorry. You are the king of the forest. That’s all right. I will run away. He is the king. He is the king.
Fox: Wa! There is a big turnip. Now, the turnip belongs to me
April Fool's Day
愚人节
(N：讲述故事者；F：愚男；Mum：妈妈；U：丑男；D1：大女儿；D2：小女儿；S：科学家；king国王)
N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman", nobody like him except his mother. How time flies!
许多年以前的四月一日，有个婴孩诞生了，他老爸给他取名为“愚男”，除他妈妈，没人喜欢他。时间过的真快啊！
F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family.
妈妈，我十八岁了，我要离开这个家了。
Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye!
好的，但要时不时回家看望我哈。这是一瓶酒，一块干面包。记住：要照顾好自己啊。再见了！
N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man.
他走到一座森林，遇到一个丑八怪的男人。
U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please?
你好！我又饿又干，请给我些喝的和吃的，怎么样？
F: Ok, here.
好的。给。
U: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck!
喔，多谢了！好，我要走了。哦，这根手杖给你，会给你带来好运的。一路好运！
N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly.
愚男来到一栋餐馆，老板有两个女儿，她们发现那根手杖闪闪发光。
D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great!!! （上前抓木棒，却被粘在上面） Oh! Dear! I can't leave it! （吃惊地）
喔，好漂亮的手杖啊！我想要，真是太棒了！！！(上前抓木棒，却被粘在上面)啊，老天啊！我放不开它了！(吃惊地)
D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you! （走向木棒）
姐姐，你在那做啥啊？你自个儿想要那根手杖？不行，我要有一份！我们都是父母的女儿，我必须跟你一样要有一分！（走向木棒）
D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous!
别来！别来！危险！
D2: You can come, so I can come, too! （也被粘在木棒上） Oh, my god! What's wrong with me?
你来得，我也来得！（也被粘在木棒上）啊，老天啊！我怎么啦？
D1: What a pity!
真可惜！
N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant. Of course, two girls followed him. In the field they met an old scientist.
愚男一点都不在意，吃了饭之后，他拿起那根手杖就离开了饭馆。当然，那两个女孩就跟着他。来到一块田的时候，他们遇到一位科学家。
S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station. （抓stick ,也被粘住） Oh! Bad luck! Terrible!
啊！太可怕了！你姐妹俩跟着一个男孩，你们怎么这么傻啊！我带你们回家，把这个男孩送到警察局去。（抓手杖 ,也被粘住）啊！糟糕！太糟糕啦！
N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed.
几天之后，他们来到一个陌生的国度。国王有个女儿，但她从来不笑。
King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife.
要是谁能让她笑，那她就是他的妻子。
F: Let me try , Perhaps I can.
我来看看。或许我能呢。
N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed.
这样他们就去看望她。她看到愚男和他的朋友就笑个不停。
k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your 生辰八字. Which day is your birthday?
好的，你让她笑了，现在让我们看看你的生辰八字，你哪天出生的？
F: April 1.
四月一日。
K: Oh! What a great boy! Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called "Fool World"! Very suits you, right?!
哦！多么棒的孩子！你知道我们国家的名字吗？我告诉你吧，叫“愚蠢世界”。非常适合你，对不？
N: The result is ——The foolman lived happily with his wife until they died. That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool".
结果是愚男跟他妻子一起幸福的过了一辈子直到死。这就是我们有这样的一个假日的缘由：“愚人节”。