『壹』 圣诞节小笑话英文版

Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他内回答说. “你真是个好容孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”

『贰』 关于圣诞节的幽默英文故事，尽量有趣。短一点

Ah! Christmas morning! Children like to wake up early while it's still dark and sneak into the living room to check the presents----find any with their name on it, shake them to guess what's inside, and then maybe they'll go back to bed and pretend they are still asleep when their parents come to wake them with a "Merry Christmas!"
But almost no one I know gets completely dressed or eats a regular breakfast first thing Christmas morning. They just put on a robe or wear their pajamas and go to see what's under the Christmas tree. Some Christian families have a tradition of reading the Bible story of Jesus' birth. Maybe it's to remind the children that Christmas is Jesus' birthday.
Someone will begin to take the presents out from under the tree, see whose name is on the package, and then pass them around. Some families wait until all the presents have been given out before opening any of them, while others open each one as it comes to them. There are many "thank you" to the ones who gave the gifts, new clothes are tried on to see if they fit, and of course the most interesting toys will immediately be played with.
Usually among the Christmas gifts will be some especially delicious candy or cake or cookies which everyone tastes. These sweet things may be the only breakfast many people eat Christmas morning. After the gifts have been opened, the room will be tidied up except where the children are playing with their toys. Everyone will wash and get dressed for the day.
Some people may go to a Christmas morning church service around ten o'clock if their church didn't have one on Christmas Eve. But most people will just watch TV. Well, most men will. The children may play outside or inside with their new toys, but the mothers will be in the kitchen preparing Christmas Dinner

『叁』 圣诞节的英语笑话（简短，有中文）

一、男性成长三阶段

The Three Stages of Man:

He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus!

男性成长的三阶段：

相信圣诞老人的存在。
不相信圣诞老人的存在。
自己是个圣诞老人

二、法官与小偷

It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,
“What is your offense?”
“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” answered the prisoner

圣诞佳节到来，法官心情愉悦的问受刑人：
“你做了什么坏事啊？”
“我今年圣诞节购物早了些。”犯人回答。

“那并不事件坏事”，法官说：“到底多早之前啊？”
“商店开门之前。”犯人答道。

三、1000元的脑筋急转弯

On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起？

Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
答案：当然是圣诞老人啦！为什么？因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

四、铅笔

What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?
Answer: use a pen

若圣诞老人的驯鹿吃掉你的铅笔该怎么办？
答案：用原子笔

五、圣诞老人的爱好

What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么？
答案：锄地。（英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。）

六、送出去还有的东西

What can Santa give away and still keep?
Answer: a cold.

什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着？
答案：感冒。

『肆』 关于圣诞节的英文小笑话

The child, I am a Santa Claus, some Christmas big ritual needs to giveyou. Any... ... Your family does not have the chimney? Does not buy!

.孩子，我是圣诞老人，有一份圣诞大礼要送给你。什么……你们家回没有烟囱？还不去买！答

『伍』 搞笑圣诞祝福 英语

写给老师的新年祝福词

Much joy to you in the upcoming year.
愿您在新的一年里充满快乐。
Chritsmas time is for thinking of others.
圣诞佳节是思念大家的时刻。
Wishing you and your family a very merry Christmas.
祝福您及您的家人圣诞快乐。
A merry Chistmas from all of your students.
祝您圣诞快乐，您的全体学生敬上。
We'll be here after the new year.
新年过后，我们会再回来。
We won't forget you this holiday season.
放假的时候，我们不会忘记您的。
Christmas is a time for gladness and rejoicing ...because there is no class.
圣诞节是欢喜和快乐的时光，因为不用上课。
May happiness follow you everywhere ...just like we do.
愿快乐随时与您同在，就如同我们与您寸步不离一般。
It's really a shame we can't be together at Christmas ...you must be jumping for joy!
我们不能在一起过圣诞节真是太可惜了……您一定乐得跳起来了!
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圣诞节中英文祝福语

Wishing you a song in your heart at Christmas and blessings all year long.
圣诞之际，祝你心中有首快乐的歌，新年快乐！

Merry Christmas and happy New Year!
圣诞快乐，恭贺新禧！

Wishing you peace, joy and happiness through Christmas and the coming year.
在圣诞和新年来临之际，祝福你平安、快乐、幸福！
Warm greetings and best wishes for Christmas and the New Year!
致以热烈的祝贺和良好的祝福，圣诞快乐，新年快乐。

Thinking of you and wishing you a beautiful Christmas season.
美丽的圣诞节之际，谨致我的思念与祝福。

It seems that Christmas time is here once again, and it is time again to bring
in the New Year. We wish the merriest of Christmas to you and your loved
ones, and we wish you happiness and prosperity in the year ahead.
圣诞节转眼又到，又该迎接新的一年了。我们向你及你的
亲人们致以最美好的圣诞祝福，愿你在新的一年里事业兴旺，幸福美满！

May Christmas and the New Year be filled with happiness for you.
愿你圣诞和新年幸福无尽。

A Christmas greeting and good wishes to you who is thought about all the
year through. Have a beautiful Christmas and a happy New Year.
始终思念你，捎来圣诞佳节最美好的祝福，祝圣诞吉祥，新年如意。

With all good wishes for a brilliant and happy Christmas season. Hope things
are going all right with you.
在这辉煌快乐的圣诞佳节，献上一切美好的祝福！祝一切顺心如意！

Here is wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a New Year bright with joy and success.
祝圣诞快乐，新年充满幸福和成功。

A Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year.
圣诞快乐，新年好！

Christmas comes but once a year. But when it comes it brings good cheer.
圣诞节一年只有一次，但每次来临都带来喜悦。

A cheery Christmas and the New Year hold lots of happiness for you!
给你特别的祝福，愿圣诞和新年带给你无边的幸福、如意。

May you have the best Christmas ever.
愿你度过最美好的圣诞节！

Much joy to you in the up coming year.
May the warmest wishes, happy thoughts and friendly greetings come at Christmas
and stay with you all the year through.
让温馨的祝愿、幸福的思念和友好的祝福，在圣诞佳节来到你身边，伴你左右。

A Christmas greeting to cheer you from your daughters.
愿女儿的圣诞祝福带给你快乐。

At Christmas and always, may peace and love fill your heart, beauty fill your world,
and contentment and joy fill your days.
圣诞的祝福，平日的希冀，愿你心境祥和、充满爱意，愿你的世界全是美满，
愿你一切称心如意，快乐无比。

May the joy of Christmas be with you throughout the year.
愿圣诞的快乐一年四季常在。

Peace and love for you at Christmas from all your students.
祝老师圣诞节充满平安和爱。

Wishing you a sparkling Christmas and bright happy New Year! May the season bring much pleasure to you.
愿你的圣诞光彩夺目，愿你的新年灿烂辉煌！佳节快乐！

Wishing you all the blessings of a beautiful Christmas season.
愿你拥有圣诞节所有美好的祝福。

Wishing you all the happiness of the holiday season.
祝节日幸福如意。

Hope all your Christmas dreams come true!
愿你所有的圣诞梦想都成真！

Hope you enjoy the happiness of Christmas and all the trimmings.
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『陆』 关于圣诞节或英语小幽默的英语文章（中英双语），简单一点生词别太多

Letters to Santa
There are millions of people all over the world, who are dreaming of a visit to Santa. Many make their dream come true, and take a trip to the Polar Circle. Even if you never get to visit Santa, you can always write him and tell him about your dreams.

Each year, Santa gets hundreds of thousands of letters from 150 countries all over the world. The children in Great Britain, Poland and Japan are the busiest writers. During the summer months, Santa gets approximately 100 letters every day. He tries to answer letters from foreign countries, if the writer requests a reply.

Many children and grownups think that Santa's study with the fireplace is the nicest room of Santa's Main Post Office. There you can admire letters, pictures and gifts sent by children, and sit down for a moment in Santa's sturdy rocking chair. In the background you can hear lovely Christmas carols.
给圣诞老人的信
全世界有不计其数的人都在渴望着能拜访一下圣诞老人。其中有些人的梦想就成为了现实，他们真的去了北极圈。就算是你没有机会见到圣诞老人你也可以给他写信告诉他你的梦想。
每年圣诞老人都可以收到成千上万封来自150个国家的人给他写的信。其中英国，波兰和日本的小朋友是给他寄信寄的最多的。夏天的时候，圣诞老人每天都可以收到大概100封信。如果给他寄信的人要求他回信的话他就会尽力回复来自不同国家的信件。
很多小孩和成人都认为圣诞老人的那带有暖暖壁炉的书房是他家里最漂亮温馨的地方。在他的书房里圣诞老人可以读信，欣赏小朋友们寄给他的图片和精美的礼物，最惬意的就是能躺在他的书房的摇椅上听着优美的圣诞颂歌好好享受一番。

希望能帮到你，祝更上一层楼O(∩_∩)O
有不会的欢迎再继续问我(*^__^*)

『柒』 英语圣诞节笑话

如果你今天没收到我的圣诞礼物，那一定是因为--你的袜子有个大洞！ 快补补吧！！

『捌』 关于圣诞的小笑话，英文的（要有翻译）

a
few
days
later
I
heard
that
you
want
to
have
eggs,
that
true?
That
I
wish
you
lay
eggs
(Christmas)
Happy!
In
a
few
days
you
have
to
Egg's
full
moon,
I
also
wish
you
a
round
ahead
of
eggs
(New
Year's
Day)
Happy!
Send中文：听说你过几天要生个蛋,真的吗?那我得祝你生蛋(圣诞专)快乐!再过几天你的蛋蛋属又要满月,那么我就也提前祝你圆蛋(元旦)快乐!
I
wish
to
Santa
Claus
on
Christmas
Eve:
I
hope
that
no
matter
how
bad
your
feet,
wear
socks
when
tomorrow
morning,
I'll
give
you
receive
the
full
blessing,
the
warmth
of
your
heart
and
feet
ㄚ子!中文：平安夜我向圣诞老人许愿：希望不管你脚多么臭，明早当穿起袜子时，能收到我给你的满满的祝福，温暖你的心和脚ㄚ子！

『玖』 有关圣诞节的小笑话(英文)

It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as heasked the prisoner
"what is your offense?''
"I did my Christmas shopping early this year,"christ the prisoner
"There is notting wrong with that"said the judge
"How early were you doing this shopping?"
"before the store opened."

『拾』 关于圣诞节的小笑话，要英文。多一点。

Do
you
know
the
gender
of
Rudolph
the
reindeer
?你知道鲁道夫(圣诞老人的驯鹿的名字)是雄的还是雌的?
how
could
i
know!我怎么知道!
but
i
do.it
is
definitely
female.我倒知道。它肯定是专母的
reasons?理由呢属
coz
Saint
Claus
is
male!因为圣诞老人是男的