1. 搞笑的英语短语  最好加上中文

cheating father坑爹抄black and blue青一块袭紫一块 do not troubles trouble until troubles trouble you麻烦不来找你，别自找麻烦。

2. 谁有搞笑的英语文章最好有中文对照!

One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer, "I see that your pig likes apples, but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied, "What's time to a pig?"
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"

One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!

Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

父亲在哪儿？

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

The poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

Does the dog know the proverb, too?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

狗也知道这个谚语吗？

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
参考资料：http://..com/question/23510460.html?si=3

3. 搞笑的英文发音变中文发音

有一个小孩，他只会读one至night，有一次，他在街上看见一女人穿着一件T血，衣服前面有两个9，然后他指着那女的衣服大声说：night.night.（奶奶）结果被那女的刮了两巴掌。

4. 求英语搞笑的中文念法

boots 鞋
不吃

5. 有哪些英文翻译成中文却特别的搞笑

树，新，蜜蜂的英语，谐音：（别吹牛逼）

6. 英语可以一样表达出中文很多搞笑的语言么

文化差异，中国语言中的一些很搞笑的东西，外国人并不能理解。
这样蹩脚的翻译成英文，也并不能让别人明白你所要表达的意思

7. 关于七个人的搞笑对话（英语和中文都要有的）

1．we
two
who
and
who
a？
咱俩谁跟谁阿
2．watch
sister
表妹
3．go
past,
no
mistake
past
走过路过，不要错过
4．you
don’t
bird
me,I
don’t
bird
you
你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
5．小明：I
am
sorry!
老外：I
am
sorry
too!
小明：I
am
sorry
three!
老外：What
are
you
sorry
for?
小明：I
am
sorry
five!
6．If
you
want
money,I
have
no;
if
you
want
life,I
have
one!
要钱没有，要命一条
7.
雇主
how
much
do
you
want
a
month?
你一个月想要多少钱？
保姆：800
yuan,
eat
you,
sleep
you
.
800块，
吃你的，住你的

8. 要一个超级搞笑的英语笑话带中文翻译，高中水平

Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！

Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn't make a sound.
Mary: Of course he doesn't. Mom, it's part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I'm you.
妈妈：玛丽，你为什么这样大喊大叫的？ 为什么不能像艾迪那样安安静静的玩儿呢？你看艾迪一声儿都不出。
玛丽：妈妈，艾迪当然不会出声了，因为我们俩正在玩爸爸回家迟到的游戏呢，他扮演爸爸，我扮演你。

9. 求几个搞笑一点的英文笑话，最好附带中文翻译

My wife and her friend were out to lunch when the temperature drastically dropped. They stood by her friend’s truck, shivering, while the friend searched for a key to unlock the door. My wife asked, “Can’t we sit in the truck while you find your keys?”
我老婆跟他朋友在一个大冷天一起出去吃午餐。 他们站在朋友的车子旁边 ，一边冷的发抖 朋友一边找车子的钥匙。 老婆说“我们可不可以进去你的车子里面坐著找你的钥匙？“
My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both. When not in use, it is prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic utensil caddy in my kitchen.
The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at a rummage sale.
It’s a pooper-scooper.
在我收集的古董级厨房餐具里包括一件不知道是做什麼用的东西 那东西看起来像一个铁的汤匙又像是炒菜的铲子 我平常就这麼用它 当没用它时 它就被放在厨房里一个漂亮的装餐具的瓷器里当装饰
终於有天这迷题解开了。 我在一个二手货拍卖场里 看到有卖这只像汤匙又像炒菜的铲子的东西 那东西有它原本的包装
那东西原来是捡狗大便用的

10. 英文句子搞笑谐音中文

今天天气真好,晴空万里,我将带给你晴朗的一天.这是我所期待的.
翻译：what
a
fine
day
today
with
clear
blue
sky.i
will
bring
you
a
fine
day,that's
what
i
expect.
谐音：我特饿饭的哎
特得爱
为字饿课立耳
拨录丝盖.
爱为哦
拨瑞应
油饿
饭得哎,戴次
握特
爱一丝拜课特