英式幽默笑话
Doorbell
小幽默
Housewife:I
had
thought
you
would
come
to
repair
the
doorbell
yesterday.
Repairman:I
did.
I
rang
the
doorbell
twice
but
got
no
answer,so
I
went
back.
家庭主妇：“我想你昨天已经来我家修好我的门铃了吧！”
维修员：“我确实来过，但是我按了两次门铃没人应我，因此我离开了。”
B. 求一则英语幽默小笑话
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
C. 有没有英国幽默的例子或笑话，要详细的哦
What's your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name.Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,He said,and don't forget to call me 'sir'.
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier?
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied.My name is Stonebreaker,sir！ said nervously.
D. 英语幽默小笑话
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
一位列车员正要发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。
“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”
“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。
“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”
这里有自己看下
http://haha.httpcn.com/en.asp
http://www.ms115.com/yue/ShowClass.asp?ClassID=123
E. 我想知道什么算英式幽默，能举几个例子吗
简单的说，你知道他想讲的是笑话，但却笑不出来，因为那个笑话冷爆了。
F. 什么叫英式幽默
英式幽默，我们一般很难看到过分夸张的表演，他们总是让现实中的一些普通的东西在最不合理的地方出现，最正常的话，在最古怪的地方出现。
何为英式幽默？我想你问一百个英国人可能有一百个答案。对英国人自己来说所谓的幽默也和佛教说禅一样是一种只可意会不可言传的东西。牛津字典的定义只是短短的一句“The quality of being amusing or comic.” The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language还有两个定义1。“That which is intended to ince laughter or amusement。”2。“The ability to perceive, enjoy, or express what is amusing, comical, incongruous, or absurd.”光看定义大家一定和我当时一样越搞越糊涂。所以当年英国同学和我讲笑话，我基本没能即时反应过来。
知不足就向英国人请教，答案令我更加迷糊。后来看BBC的"Question time"（转播英国国会议员向首相提问的节目），看多了才明白英国人的幽默是什么一回事。为免大家到了国外和我当年一样“版主居英亦可怜，谈空说有夜不眠，忽闻旁人幽一默，拄杖落地心茫然。”就跟大家分享一下心得。
说到幽默有英式幽默和美式幽默之分，二者差别很大。用字比喻语调都很不一样。简单的说美式幽默比较"生活化, 用字比较直接",英式幽默用字比较深入,夹杂着当地文化换句话说, 就算是你听懂他们的用字,也很难搞懂真正的意思。这么说可能还是很不清楚，我建议你到英国有空看看"Question time", "Never Mind Buzzcock"，"Black Adder", Harry Hill, John 等喜剧演员的Talk Show, 大概就能了解什么是英式幽默了。有个BBC（British Born Chinese）英国朋友说, 英式幽默在于 "讽刺" (Sarcasm)。所以而当你也会"反唇相讥" 时, 就代表你的英文也够好了。不过如果你对英国文学或历史没有一定的了解，你还是幽不起来。
G. 英语幽默笑话大全
可饶是如此，也把他吓得不轻。抬头看了一眼，见目的地还在百余米开外。这距离不能说远，可对如今曲君而言却似天堑！曲君心知自己已经无以为继，愤恨的瞪了温德一眼，不等下次攻击到来，他在身上伤口处摸了一下，跟着就用沾满鲜血的右手召唤出了新的使魔！
1.A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there.
Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk replies, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."
2.Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
3.Charge for Bread and Butter
Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.
Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."
Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."
The $1.50 was returned without delay.
可饶是如此，也把他吓得不轻。抬头看了一眼，见目的地还在百余米开外。这距离不能说远，可对如今曲君而言却似天堑！曲君心知自己已经无以为继，愤恨的瞪了温德一眼，不等下次攻击到来，他在身上伤口处摸了一下，跟着就用沾满鲜血的右手召唤出了新的使魔！
H. 「英式幽默」和「美式幽默」的区别是什么
正如几位说的：有点坏、不能立刻大笑、可以回味、偏好使用双关语。举个典型的英国笑话，看几个人能懂："Two people were arrested yesterday, respectively for stealing batteries and firecrackers. One was charged, and the other one let off."