小笑话双语
你好！
A
guy
goes
to
visit
his
grandma
and
he
brings
his
friend
with
him.
While
he's
talking
to
his
grandma,
his
friend
starts
eating
the
peanuts
on
the
coffee
table,
and
finishes
them
off.
As
they're
leaving,
his
friend
says
to
his
grandma,
"Thanks
for
the
peanuts."
She
says,
"Yeah,
since
I
lost
my
dentures
I
can
only
suck
the
chocolate
off."
一名男子带着朋友去探望他的祖母。
当他和祖母聊天时，他的朋友开始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，并把花生都给吃光了。
他们离开时，他的朋友对祖母说:"谢谢您的花生。"
结果祖母说:"唉！自从我牙齿掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外层的巧克力了。"
仅代表个人观点，不喜勿喷，谢谢。
B. 跪求双语的小笑话
聚会上女主人对一腼腆年轻人说“What a small appetite you have tonight,您今晚的饭量太小了.”年轻人gallantly殷勤的说道“To sit next to you, would cause any man to lose his appetite.坐在您身边，任何男人都会失去胃口的.”这话应该怎么理解好呢？
C. 双语小笑话：谁的爸爸更强壮
笑话一：Is he dying?他要死了吗？
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些片。
他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃。当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。
笑话二：It's not my fault 不是我的错
Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
【扩展延伸】
了解英语笑话的要点：
可以多了解英国民俗民风等，了解他们的语言环境；
2.可以结合自身理解，身临其境；
3.词汇量很重要，词汇的多种翻译也很重要。
4.可以试着把中国一些小笑话翻译成英语。
D. 关于小学英语简短笑话(双语版)
我有一个好朋友，他叫XXX。
有一天，我问他“pig的拼写是不是P-U-G？”
他回答，“不是，pig是P-I-G。”
然后我再问他“你确定？pig是U？”
“不是，”他说，“pig是I。”
I have a good friend, his name is ***.
one day ，I asked him ：“how to spell“pig”？Is p-u-g？”
He answered quickly: "no, is P - I - G."
then I asked,:"are you sure? i think it is "U"?"
"No," he said, "pig is I"
E. 介绍几篇双语的英语美文或笑话。。
小明上英语课时跟老师说：“May I go to the toilet? ”
老师说：“Go ahead. ”小明就坐了下来。
过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：“May I go to the toilet? ”老师说：“Go ahead. ”小明又坐了下来。
他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：“你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？”
小明说：“你没听老师说“去你个头"啊？”
很搞笑吧，这是一个英文阅读网上取来的，我经常看看，里面有英文笑话，英语美文，英语新闻，还有很多！可以学点英语哦~我把网址给你：
www.enread.com
希望能帮到你！
谢谢点赞~
F. 英语小笑话，越短越好，带翻译
1、Goldfish金鱼
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
2、 The Revenge 欺骗的代价
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmerJones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson:"But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal!"
老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”
3、I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来
Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears?"
当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
5、 Where Am I 我在哪儿
An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Yes, " the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, "you are in your car, sir."
一个英国人在乡下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在附近的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？” “可以。”农夫奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。”
6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.
"But officer," the man said, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer."I'm going to put you injail until the chief gets back."
"But ,officer, I …."
"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"
A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a goodmood when he gets back."
"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm thegroom."
大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察拦住了。“但是警官”这个人说道，“我可以解释的”。“保持安静”，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，，，”。“我说过了保持安静，你要到监狱了。”几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。” “你确定”在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀”。
7、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you aquestion. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father.
Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing andwriting, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?
Tom: Our teacher, father.
父亲：哎，汤姆，今天我跟你们老师谈过，现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒？汤姆：我不知道，爸爸。父亲：啊，不对，你知道！想想看，当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时，谁在课堂上坐着，只是看人家做功课？汤姆：我们老师，爸爸。
8、TwoBirds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now whocan tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside theswallow.
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。老师：请说说看。学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。