6人英语搞笑小品剧本
您好：
校园搞笑版话剧剧本：
地点：学校教室
人物：老师、学生
1、学生
2 背景：教室，上课时，学生与老师的对话与问答
情节：
扮老师的人上：
今天我们来复习古诗词中的名言名名，
我准备采用老师提问的方式开始
今天的学习。由我提问学生们，我说出诗的上句，同学们回答出下一句，好不好。
学生异口同声：好！
老师：人生自古谁无死。
学生：人生自古谁无屎，有谁大便不用纸。
老师：
（生气的）是那个学生，说出这样的不道德的话啊，给我站起来！
学生：
（站起来）是我）
老师：
（很生气）你这样捣乱，这节课你给我站着上。我们必须完成这个任务，否则别
想过关。从来！
师：人生自古谁无死。
学生：人生自古谁无屎，有谁大便不用纸。若君不用卫生纸，除非你用大拇指。
老师：
（怒不可遏）谁啊，胡说八道啊！我再提问一句，你们来接下一句，如果回答正
确我就不惩罚你们。
（这时，老师看见窗外，想了下，想起冬天会下雪，就提问一句）
老师：上天下雪不下雨，雪到地上变成雨。变成雨时多麻烦，为何当初不下雨。
（小明站起来回答道)
小明：老师吃饭不吃屎，饭到肚里变成屎。变成屎时多麻烦，为何当初不吃屎。
(就这样老师当场就想惩罚小明！手发抖,脸还装着笑要羞怒小明.....)
老师：河水往哪里流啊？
小明：大河向东流啊！
老师：天上有多少颗星星阿？
小明：天上的星星参北斗阿！
老师：你给我滚出去！
小明：说走咱就走阿！
(老师很无奈.....)
老师：你有病吧？
小明：你有我有全都有阿！
老师：你再唱一句试试！
学生：路见不平一生吼阿！
老师：你信不信我要扁你？
学生：该出手时就出手阿！
(老师真的忍无可忍气的没有话说）
老师：我让你退学！
学生：风风火火闯九洲阿！ (哈哈.....
全班学生都轰动起来，老师走出了教室
生：风风火火闯九洲阿！ (哈哈......全班学生都轰动起来，老师走出了教室......）
希望以上信息可以帮到您，也欢迎登陆中票在线官网查询你喜欢明星的演出资讯：http://www.chinaticket.com ：－D
Ⅱ 英语搞笑小品剧本，4-6人的就行。急需，谢谢～
到中国讲师网上下
Ⅲ 求英语搞笑话剧剧本。（6人，带翻译更高。）
《 荆珂刺秦王》
旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.
Action I
太子丹（上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）
太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.
Action II
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲
Are you Li mochou?
李莫愁
Yes.
荆轲
OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.
李莫愁
Are you challenging me?
荆轲
Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意
李莫愁
Come on!
音乐起
两人冲上前来
“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊.”
李莫愁倒地
荆轲大笑
李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：
To be or not to be, that's a question.
阿三：Hero,we need your help.
荆柯：I am busy now!
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.
荆柯：I am very busy now!
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：I am very very busy now!
阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
阿三：What? What’s the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new proct of Unilever China.
荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t rece my weight.
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?难道你真的想要吗……
荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
太子丹与阿三（撞胯,击掌）Yeah!
Ⅳ 搞笑英语短剧6人
守株待兔（英语短剧） 剧本
你可以自己加几个角色~
（因为是搞笑，所以不必太拘谨。普通台词意思对即可。）
[开始。树）上台安静地屹立到舞台较后方。导演（范冰）走到台前]
导演：Action！[跑下台]
[农夫冷酷地上。]
农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A modern farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头，继续保持冷酷]When I was yong,I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看，收起]！So I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250！This is my Swatch!This my MP3!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry. And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do U know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表]It’s time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作，锄了两下，突然] Oh yes!I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上，开始很有激情地边锄地边唱]Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming should be combined with music~!Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下台，把没用的道具拿走，把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台]
树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，边做边唱：哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall!And I’m Strong!IF you hit me,you will 挂掉！Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台]
[兔子A上]
兔子A（一开始不知道状况。以为自己扮演周杰伦，所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼）：Hey everybody,I’m Jay!I love U!I love Nantong![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U！The name of the song is 《发如雪》！[清清嗓子正要唱，这时候导演（范冰）上]
导演：[拿手中纸筒狠狠打了下兔子A的头]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit,understand?![兔子A：Sorry sorry sorry] [导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》。导演下台之前，看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看，惊喜地]Oh!It’s mine！（很兴奋地拿着下场）
兔子A：OK,now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在场上转圈，悠闲散步]
[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]
农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]
[农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]
兔子A：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What’s this！
农夫：Hnnnn…！I will kill U for lunch!
兔子A：But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来（农夫一开始把枪对着自己）]
农夫：Thank you!
兔子A：My pleasure. （突然想起来农夫要杀自己） Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到树后面，农夫追到树前]
农夫：Where~ to go? Haha!
[农夫开了一枪“砰”。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪，没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪，同上。 农夫开始加快频率，火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪，躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。]
兔子A[自我陶醉中，边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me！
树：[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]
[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪，走到兔子面前，看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现]
农夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子，开枪，没声音，看看枪，示意没子弹了。兔子见状，非常兴奋地大笑起来]
兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now！ [兴奋大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ！[兔子晕两下~~ “我倒！” 倒地]
农夫：OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [想一下] But I’m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子绑到树上。倒地睡到树旁边]
……
兔子A：[兔子很快醒了，看看四周，发现自己被绑了，很惊讶]Where am I? What happened?
树：[指着农夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you.
兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape？[东张西望，看到农夫的手机]
[兔子不知不觉地把树杈移开，走到手机前看了看]咦？What’s this？[捡起来看]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原处。 又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来]A mobile！Maybe I can call some one to help me！ [又不知不觉地把自己放出来，那起手机] But how to use it？？？
树：[走上前]Let me tell U.Look,press this button![给兔子]
兔子A：Oh I see. [做出打电话的样子] 喂？
李咏：[上台，激情澎湃地] Hello！This is lucky fifty-two！[做出幸运52的手势]I’m Liyong！Now let’s start our first question！What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正？ A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please!
兔子A：（很冷漠地）Sorry， wrong number.[挂掉]
李咏：Answer me!Answer me! En..?喂？喂喂？[很郁闷地下台]
兔子A：Now let me call again.[拨打] 喂？
兔子B：喂？
兔子A：Hey Jackey！
兔子B：Hey tommy!
兔子A：How are you doing?
兔子B：Fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A：I’m fine too!How are your parents doing?
兔子B：They are fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A：They are fine,too!How is your uncle doing?
兔子B：He’s fine,thank you!And U?
兔子A：He’s fine , too!
兔子B：But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!!
兔子A：No no no!I’m in danger now!Come and help me!!!
兔子B：But where are you?
兔子A：I’m under a tree!
兔子B：[边打电话边在附近走，经过兔子A面前，两个人还没发现]What can you see around you?
兔子A：I see a rabbit ,rather like you!
兔子B：A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come!Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开]
[兔子A 打完电话，小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处，还很有礼貌地说了句“Thank you.” 然后又很自觉地把自己绑回了树上]
兔子A：Hahaha!My friend will come and save me,yeah! [兴奋过度，后仰，头又撞倒树上，昏眩中…“我晕！” 又晕了]
[兔子B上。]兔子B：I’m also rabbit！I’m clever! I’m brave ! And I’m strong! [展示肌肉] OH！My friend is here!Let me help him out! [费力地想把树枝（双臂）挪开，使了几次劲，还是不行] It’s too tight! I must think of a good way! [看到农夫扔掉的痒痒挠] Let’s see,what’s this！A 锄头！[装作打高尔夫球，试了试锄头手感]Oh,it’s nice.[走到树面前，正要砍]
树：Stop！！！What will you do?
兔子B：I will cut you down to save my friend.
树：O. [突然醒悟] What?! Cut me down?! Teachers told us that we should protect the environment! Understand?!
兔子B：Oh yes！You are right! [扔掉锄头] I have to think of another idea! [想了想] Oh!![灵感突来][看了看手表] Oh it’s time to do morning exercise ！Come on! [开始带头做早操。做着做着对树说“Follow me！” （企图让树动起来，两只手松开，这样就可以救出兔子A）树也开始跟着做起早操。 兔子B轻轻上前，想救出兔子A。但是树的广播操动作恰好都是会挡住营救的。兔子B狂汗… -_-b 广播操毕。树继续绑着兔子A]
兔子B：Why?! Maybe I need another idea. Oh!I’v got it！Music！ [音响放起泰坦尼克号主题曲高潮前奏。 兔子B抱住树，企图引导树像女主角一样张开双臂，放出兔子A。树渐渐陶醉，手缓缓松开。兔子B正要搭救同伴，突然兔子A两只手张开，成了女主角动作。树又抱住了兔子A的腰，成了男主角动作。树和A陶醉其中。B要唤醒A：“Wake up!Wake up!”
兔子A沉醉其中，完全不理它，还用脚踹走要救它的B：“Don’t disturb me！”继续陶醉。]
兔子B：（无奈ing…）Stop！！！（音乐停） （沮丧）I can’t save my friend…[掏出纸巾想要擦汗，带出10块钱，掉在地上]
树：Money！[一个箭步冲上去捡起钱，回到原位并且对着太阳验钞。]
兔子A：[看四周] I’m free!!!Oh yes,I’m free!Thank you,Jackey! [慢动作深情扑向兔子B] Jackey~~~~ [突然兔子B低头系鞋带。兔子A控制不住一下子撞在树上，晕两下说：“暴头！”死翘。] [兔子B见状冲上去，深情地搂住A：“Tommy!Tommy！”[伤心地俯下身子，紧紧抱住A]
[这时睡觉中的农夫突然一个翻身，又把B压在了下面]
兔子B：I…can’t….breath……I’m dying!!!! [也翘了]
农夫：[农夫这时候醒了。擦了下口水，看见两只兔子] En..?Two rubbits! I rememer I have caught just one?! Oh,maybe I drank too much.
[兴奋地一手提一只兔子，哼着小曲下场]
树：[还在验钞的树正在高兴，突然发现是假钞]A！It’s a fake！Wait for me！[追下去]
Ⅳ 英语小品剧本（6~7人）急求
3人英文短话剧剧本
我为英语疯狂提供英语速成方法3人短剧，简单有趣，每人不超过10句话，并且都是很简单的话，经理只有一句词，但是还比较有水平。由一个笑话改编。
最后结果出人意料，其实是服务生误解了顾客。
C,the
customer.
W,the
waiter.
M,the
manager.
In
the
restaurant.
W:What
can
I
do
for
you,sir?
C:Beijing
Roast
Duck,Tomato
and
Egg
Soup.That’s
all.
W:A
moment.
W:Yours,sir.
C:Thank
you.
C:Waiter.
W:Yes?Sir.
C:How
can
I
have
the
soup?
W:I’m
sorry.Sir.I’ll
change
it
for
you.
W:Here
your
soup.Sir.
C:Thank
you.
C:waiter!
W:Sir.
C:How
can
I
have
the
soup?
W:Er.I’m
terribly
sorry.I
change
it
in
a
second.
C:Sir.I’m
sorry
for
the
soup.Now
is
the
soup.
W:OK.
C:Waiter!!
W:Sir?
C:Call
your
manager,please.
M:I’m
sorry,sir,but
what’s
wrong
with
the
soup?
C:How
can
I
have
the
soup
without
a
SPOON?
Ⅵ 急求6人英语搞笑小品剧本
http://www2.thu.e.tw/~flld/Project/studentworks/93/2005THUscripts/2005scripts.htm
我也看不懂,你看看
Ⅶ 跪求一个6人的英语小品剧本
(六人简称为A；B;C;D;E;F)
A:Hello,everyone!
BCDEF:Hello!A:Where are you going?
B:We are going to the zoo.Do you want to go with me?
A:No,Iwant to go to the library.I
want to read books.
C:But you canread books at the zoo.D:Yes,and after we visit the zoo.
We will go to the restaurant.
A:Let me see......
E:(看表）Quickly!It is 9 o'clock!
A:OK!But how can we get there?
F:It's easy!We can take Number 1 bus to go there!
A:OK!Let's go!
(That's all)
说得一定要流畅，通顺，加油啊！！！
Ⅷ 求一个搞笑小品，6人表演，要求台词带有简单英语。
话剧可以不？
6人英语话剧小剧本-小红帽Little Red Riding Hood
第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家
Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的水果放在篮子里）
Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?
Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma.
Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!
Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful.
Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.
Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.
第二场：在路上
(一阵轻快的音乐由远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)
Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers.
Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)
Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill.
Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby cks.
Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞)
Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）
Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby cks，how are you?
Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going?
Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye.
Six Ducks：Goodbye．
第三场：Grandma家
Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）
Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’ s house? (高兴地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang．
Grandma： Who is it？
Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood.
Grandma： (边说边起床) Come in, come in.
Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you.
Grandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上）
灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。
Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy！I’ll sleep.
Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandma．Grandma．
Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it？
Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise!
Wolf：Come in， Come in.
Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears!
Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.
Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes!
Wolf：I can see you pretty face.
Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand.
Wolf：I can hug you.
Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big hands?
Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you!
Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！No! No!
Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子说）It’s delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping.
Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推门)The wolf is sleeping.
Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声)
Hunter： (端起枪想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry．(从桌子上拿起剪刀，举起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut.
Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank you．
Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones．
Grandma： (从桌子上拿来针线)
Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石头)One, two, three.
Hunter： (把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里)
Grandma： I'll thread it.
Hunter： (拿起枪)Woke up!
Wolf：(起床，两手托着大肚子)My stomach is so heavy.
Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms!
Wolf：(边跑边说) Help! Don’t shot me!
Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang!
Wolf： (应声倒下)
Hunter： The bad wolf is dead．
Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：Yeah! Thank you．
Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you
Ⅸ 6人搞笑英语话剧剧本
阿甘正传的片断
FORREST (voice-over) That Momma, she sure was right.
It's funny how things work out.
EXT. BAYOU LA BATRE/BUBBA'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY
Forrest walks up to a shack on the edge of the Bayou. A group of black kids play in the front yard.
FORREST (voice-over)
I didn't stay home for long, because I'd made a
promise to Bubba. And I always try to keep my promise.
So I went on down to Bayou La Batre to meet Bubba's
family and make their introction.
Bubba's mother named MRS. BLUE and her other children look at Forrest.
MRS. BLUE Are you crazy, or just plain stupid?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, Mrs. Blue.
MRS. BLUE I guess.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE - DAY
Forrest steps over to Bubba's tombstone.
FORREST (voice-over)
And of course, I paid my respect to Bubba himself.
FORREST Hey, Bubba, it's me, Forrest Gump. I remember
everything you said, and I got it all figured out.
Forrest pulls out notes from his pocket.
FORREST I'm taking the twenty-four thousand, five hundred
and six-two dollars and forty-seven cents that I got...
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest walks across a yard where men are cleaning shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
... well, that's left after a new hair cut and a
new suit and I took Momma out to real fancy dinner
and I bought a bus ticket and three Doctor Peppers.
Forrest walks along a wooden pier. Forrest pays an old black shrimper a large wad of cash.
OLD SHRIMPER Tell me something. Are you stupid or something?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, sir.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE
Forrest stands at the grave.
FORREST Well, that's what's left after me saying, "When I was
in China on the All-America Ping-Pong Team, I just
loved playing ping-pong with my Flex-O-Ping-Pong Paddle."
Which everybody knows it isn't true, but Momma says
it's just a little white lie so it wouldn't hurt nobody.
So, anyway, I'm putting all that on gas, ropes and new
nets and a brand-new shrimpin' boat.
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest steers his shrimping boat. The boat is old and rusty. Forrest unleashes his nets as his catch of the day drops to the deck. It is a bunch of garbage and shells. Forrest picks up one shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
Now, Bubba had told me everything he knows about shrimpin',
but you know what I found out? Shrimpin' is tough.
EXT. DOCKS
Forrest pulls a couple of shrimp out of a bucket.
FORREST I only caught five.
OLD SHRIMPER A couple of more, you can have yourself a cocktail.
The old shrimper begins to walk away, then stops and looks at Forrest.
OLD SHRIMPER Hey, you ever think about namin' this old boat?
FORREST (voice-over) I'd never named a boat before,
but there was only one I could think of.
Forrest paints a name on the side of his boat. The name is "Jenny."
FORREST (voice-over)
The most beautiful name in the wide world.
Ⅹ 急求6个人英语搞笑小品剧本
英语剧本-《不差钱》英文版
Got the Money Anyway
(A Comic Piece for the CCTV Spring Festival Gala 2009)
Play script by Cui Kai et al.
（舞台上是一个餐厅的背景，写着：“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装，身上背着一串蒜头，手上拿着野鸡，拉着毛毛上场。）
(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.)
赵本山：到了。
毛毛： 到了。
赵本山：这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不，苏格兰调情（tiáo qíng）。
毛毛： 爷爷，你念反了，苏格兰情调（qíng diào）。
赵本山：啊，情调？就搁这儿吃。
毛毛： 爷爷，这家老贵的啦。
赵本山：贵？咱带钱了，带三万多块，那包呢？
毛毛： 我没拿包啊。
赵本山：装钱那包，黄包。
毛毛： 完了，让我落炕上了。
赵本山：我说，你这孩子还能办点事吗？！这给你办事，落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗？
毛毛： 兜里，多少钱哪才？才70多块钱。
赵本山：我还有400。行，够了。
毛毛： 这也不能够啊。
赵本山：哎呀，够不够就这样了。服务员！
Uncle Zhao Here we are.
Yadar Here we are.
Uncle Zhao It's the most pricy eatin' spot in Tieling: "Scottish Tease / Fool."
Yadar You got it wrong - Scottish taste / feel, not tease / fool.
Uncle Zhao All right, taste / feel. We're gonna have our meal here anyway.
Yadar But it's very expensive.
Uncle Zhao So whut? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag?
Yadar What bag?
Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it.
Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed.
Uncle Zhao So whut can you do at all? I'm goin' t'rough all this for you and you had the nerve to forget the bag on the bed! Any money left on you?
Yadar Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.
Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more.
Yadar Still not enough.
Uncle Zhao No matter. Waiter!
（小沈阳上）
小沈阳：对不起大爷，我们这是高档酒店，不收农副产品。
赵本山：不是，我们是吃饭的。
小沈阳：妈呀，吃饭的？
赵本山：不像啊？
小沈阳：不太像。
赵本山：我说姑娘啊，这顿饭非常重要。
小沈阳：妈呀，你管谁叫姑娘呢，人家是纯爷们。
赵本山：咋这么个打扮，还穿个裙子呢。
小沈阳：这是按我们苏格兰风格来包装的。再说也不是裙子啊，这不七分裤吗。你看，是有腿的哦。妈呀，着急穿跑偏了。妈呀，我说走道咋没有裆呢。
赵本山：行了，那条腿留明儿个穿，哈哈哈。小伙子我跟你说呀，今天我要请一位重要客人吃饭，你一定要招待好。
小沈阳：呃，没问题。
赵本山：来来来，我问问你，你们这个酒店，如果要急头白脸吃一顿，得多少钱？
小沈阳：咋还吃急眼了呢？
赵本山：我意思就是，最贵的都点上。
小沈阳：得一、两万的。
赵本山：一、两万？啊，那啥，有没有这种情况，今儿个吃完了，明儿个来结账？
(Shenyang, the waiter, enters.)
Shenyang Sorry, sir. We're of high class here. We don't take on stuff from street peddlers.
Uncle Zhao We're your customers. Don't we look like it?
Shenyang Not quite.
Uncle Zhao We're gonna have an important meal here, miss.
Shenyang Don't you call me a miss. I'm a man - from the inside out.
Uncle Zhao Then how c'me you wearin' a skirt?
Shenyang Why, it's men's wear in Scottish style. See, it's no skirt but Capri pants. Look at this, look. Oh, damn it, I didn't get into one of the trousers in a hurry. No wonder I feel different while walking.
Uncle Zhao Leave that trouser for tomorrow, hah! I tell you, boy, we're gonna have a damn' important guest here in a minute. You should do you' best.
Shenyang No problem.
Uncle Zhao How much does a meal cost here if we get at it like mad?
Shenyang Why so / What's wrong?
Uncle Zhao I mean if we order nothin' but the best.
Shenyang About 10,000 to 20,000.
Uncle Zhao Whut if s'mebody eats today and pays tomorrow?
小沈阳：打白条儿啊？
赵本山：不是啊，不是打白条，不差钱，有钱。喏。
小沈阳：啥意思？
赵本山：小费。
小沈阳：妈呀，大爷你真敞亮，你太帅了。
赵本山：给一百块钱还帅呢。我跟你说这不白给啊。一会儿客人到了，你一定要给足我面子，明白吗？我到点菜的时候，你得替我兜着点。
小沈阳：咋兜呢？
赵本山：既把面子给了，但是呢又不能花得......太狠。我要点贵菜......
小沈阳：我就说没有呗。
赵本山：哎呀妈呀，你太厉害了。来来来，拿点。再给你30，来。
小沈阳：我跟你都明码的哦。
赵本山：谢谢。
小沈阳：放心吧。
毛毛： 爷爷，我有点饿了。
赵本山：饿了？来碗面条。
小沈阳：呃，78一碗。
赵本山：啥面？这么贵。
小沈阳：苏格兰打卤面。
赵本山：是不是卤子贵？
小沈阳：卤不要钱。
赵本山：那就来碗卤子，先尝尝咸淡。快去，快去。
小沈阳：妈呀，没这么上过呀。
赵本山：那是我没来，我要来，你早就这么上了。去吧去吧。
小沈阳：这老爷子，我要说面条不要钱，要面条了你还。
Shenyang You'll give me an IOU?
Uncle Zhao Not that. I've got the money anyway. Take this.
Shenyang What's it?
Uncle Zhao A tip for you.
Shenyang You do understand people / things / the world, sir - you look cool!
Uncle Zhao Whut's a hundred yuan to me! Still, you ain't get it for nothin'. When my guest c'mes, you put on a show with me. If I order expensive food, you should stop me doin' so.
Shenyang Like how?
Uncle Zhao Showin' e respect for my guest, yes. Spendin' too much on a meal, no. Whut if I ask for somethin' dear?
Shenyang I'll say "sorry, this we don't have."
Uncle Zhao You're smart. C'me, here's another 30 yuan.
Shenyang I'm not gonna cheat you when it comes to prices.
Uncle Zhao Thank you, boy.
Shenyang Nothing much.
Yadar Grandpa, I'm hungry.
Uncle Zhao How much's a bowl of noodles?
Shenyang 78 yuan.
Uncle Zhao Whut noodles can be so expensive?
Shenyang Scottish sauced noodles.
Uncle Zhao Does the sauce cost much, too?
Shenyang It's free.
Uncle Zhao Get us a bowl of sauce, so we can see whether the taste's right. Quick.
Shenyang That's no way to serve a meal, sir.
Uncle Zhao You think so only becuse I didn't show up here before. Now it's time to make s'me change.
Shenyang (to himself) Had I said the noodles are free, he would've asked for noodles. (Exits)